chapter three

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luke's pov:

I write the words down into the notebook, we really needed to get a new song out before Girls Like Guys did.

The green scribbly pen scrolls across the crinkled line paper.

I'm not fine at all.

That's all I got. Good job Luke.

I started to think of my ex girlfriend Carrie. (Thats Care- e not Car- ee) Just clarifying. I missed her so much, I figured this song could be about her.

It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long.

That was true, Calum kept mentioning her, and it kills. A lot.

I wished I could've woken up with amnesia or even whiplash. To forget it all.

And strangely, Cara reminded me so much of Carrie. Their hair was the same length, her nose crinkled the same way when she laughed. They were both incredibly and unnaturally beautiful.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things.

Good job Luke.

I drove by all the places we used to hang out, getting high.

No, that didn't flow properly. Ugh, why is so hard writing slow songs that made our fan's ovaries explode?

Whoops, did I just say that?

"Mike, help me with this." I say to Michael, who's tweeting at some fans and about the new song.

"It has to come from your heart." Michael says to me and I sigh, slumping on my bed and watching Michael as he lays on the one next to me.

I thought that Amnesia would be kind of a cool name, and I did get to name it cause you know, I'm the lead singer. Haha.

I drove by all the places we used to hang out, getting wasted, I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted.

She tasted like a fresh taste of strawberries and chapstick. That was our last kiss, it was on New Year's. The day before she left me.

I had my jacket wrapped around her because she complained she was cold, Ashton counted down, and by one, my lips were on hers, tasting that strawberry taste that I never thought I'd ever get to again. She smiled and said I love you. I remember it so vividly. Like it was just yesterday, sometimes, I wish it was just yesterday.

I wipe the tear from my cheek and shakily write more words.

And all my friends keep asking why you're not around.

Calum. Calum. Calum.

I wrote Amnesia on the top of the page
because I knew that was a certain thing.

But it wasn't an occurrence.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving.

That hurt a lot. It's almost like a part of my heart split into two, and when she lost me, I lost a part of me too. She said that dating me was too much for her. I was the one suffering from anxiety and depression, and she couldn't handle it.

What a joke.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things.

I sigh before putting my head in my hands.

"I love when you sleep next to me!" Carrie says excitedly and I nod, warming her up in my arms.

"Me too." I say to her, honestly feeling safer with her.

"I'm cold." She shivers and I get up and grab one of my sweaters. I wrap it around her, along with my shaky arms and she falls asleep right in my arms. I kiss her forehead lightly before I drift off too.

That was one of the last things I remember with her.

When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?
If today I woke up with you right beside me...

Ugh this was going nowhere.

"How's it going?" Michael turns and asks me. His eyebrows furrowed.

"Its not." I say to him truthfully, slamming my notebook down.

"Don't give up, I'll give you some time." Michael says to me and I nod as he exits the room.

I open my window for a bit of fresh air, and breathe in the cold air before writing again.

All my thoughts suddenly just poured out right then and there.

I drove by all the places we used to hang out, getting wasted, I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted. And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine, you're somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you.
When he says the words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? Cause I'm not fine at all.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the make up running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them. Like every single wish we ever made.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you. And the memories I never can escape.

Cause I'm not fine at all.

The pictures that you sent me, they're still living in my phone, I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone.

And all my friends keep asking why I'm
not around.
It hurts to know you're happy, yeah it hurts that you've moved on.
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long. It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
Cause I'm not fine at all.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the makeup running down your face, and the dreams you left behind you didn't need them, like every single wish we ever made. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you and the memories I never can escape.

If today I woke up with you right beside me, like all of this was just some twisted dream, I'd hold you closer than I ever did before, and you'd never slip away, and you'd never hear me say:

I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the makeup running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them, like every single wish we ever made.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things, like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you. And the memories I never can escape, cause I'm not fine at all.

No, I'm really not fine at all. Tell me this is just a dream, cause I'm really not fine at all.

I close the notebook on the page and head to the other band members. They all stare at me.

"I know what we're performing next month." I say to them and Michael smiles at me. He knew I'd been crying.

Everyone knew, and I'm wanting to know how this turns out.

**

Heyy! So I know it was kind of lame and just a song, but you'll see why later!

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