☛Day #97: R e a l l y b a d p u n s --but then again, all puns are bad and corny, but they're amazing nonetheless
✐I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
✎Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
✐The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government’s fault.
✎Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
✐Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
✎Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
✐Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
✎A backwards poet writes inverse.
✐Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
✎A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
✐When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
✎Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
✐I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.
✎It’s syncing now.
✐I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
✎Then it dawned on me.
✐This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
✎but I’d never met herbivore.
✐They told me I had type-A blood,
✎but it was a Type-O.
✐PMS jokes aren’t funny.
✐Why were the Indians here first?
✎They had reservations.
✐We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory.
✎I hope there’s no pop quiz.
✐I tried to catch some fog,
✎but I mist.
✐England has no kidney bank,
✎but it does have a Liverpool.
✎what a rip off!
✐A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
✎Details are sketchy.
✐Venison for dinner again?
✐Be kind to your dentist.
✎He has fillings, too.
✐A man’s home is his castle,
✎in a manor of speaking.
✐Dijon vu –
✎the same mustard as before.
✐In democracy your vote counts.
✎In feudalism, your count votes.
✐Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight.
✎These, of course, are only round figures.
✐What is the purpose of reindeer?
✎It makes the grass grow, sweetie.
✐There were two ships. One had red paint, one had blue paint. They collided.
✎At last report, the survivors were marooned.
✐The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up and asked,
✎“Did you get my drift?”
✐Why is Saudi Arabia free of mental illness?
✎There are nomad people there.
✐When I was in the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode.
✎I asked “Are you two an item?”
✐When she told me I was average,
✎she was just being mean.
✐This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer.
✎“Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
✐A termite walks into a bar and says
✎“Is the bar tender here?”
✐Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says
✎“Hey get out! We don’t want your type in here!”
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you thought the first 65 days of puns were cool? WELL AHAHA, you thought wrong because we have 300 hundred more days to go! but only a hundred puns will be included in this c: NOW ENJOY the more puns that are to be...