Dear Luke, 

I am glad, you came back to my bed tonight. I'm glad you took my hand and entwined our fingers again like a long lost love story coming back together from pieces for a perfect picture. And the way you looked at me with those eyes was nothing like last night. Just your lips, they repeated the same quote over and over again.  Let me go.

"I can't, you are holding my hand." 

"One sentence has more than a single meaning."

I lay there breathless, as the cold fingers of air grasped my throat, making me choke on the words that were stuck inside of me for so long and you didn't seem to notice me being suffering. You just repeated that idiotic sentence, adding to the start. "I want you to remember and"

I can't let you go. There's no way I could take my stand without you holding my back. 

"This is the last time."

"Of what?"

"Of me trying to save the truth away from you."

Your unnaturally cold lips made the skin of my forehead twitch in an unpleasant way as I could see how I was losing my sight, or, you were just fading away. "And, tell Calum that he's still my brother. Always."

When I woke up all I could do was screaming. I ran down the stairs, collapsing into the kitchen and falling on the stiff tiles what didn't seem to absorb my pain even in a little bit.

"Is he dead?" I screamed for once more before my mind went black, except that I could still hear my voice breaking down when a pair of warm hands wrapped around me. "He is, he is."

I could feel every tiny bit of your pain as those guys kicked you over and over again, until blood filled up your lungs, finally overwhelmingly leaving your body through your nostrils. You couldn't catch your breath and all I could do was shout Please stop.

"Shh, it's okay." A distorted voice that softly blended into yours whispered to my ear, instead of calming me down just making it worse in so many ways.

I opened up my eyes to see my mom sobbing silently "My baby." But, all I could think about was the fact that you are gone.

You are. 

You never left me.

It's not easier at all now.

It's not easier at all to hear Calum say "I wanted to tell you."

Or to be held by Frank.

There's no way any of them could ever ease my pain and I am already feeling numb from it.

Please, Luke, come here and save me again, because there's no chance I could do it myself.

(I am not sure if I am still) Yours, Autumn.

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