It's been a week since I've seen Austin. It's been a week since I've talked to him. It's been a week since I've hugged him. It's been a week since I've kissed him. It's been a week since I've felt those sparks I get when he touches me. It's been a week since I've felt safe in his arms. It's been a week since I've seen Alex, my best friend. It's been a week full of sadness, tears, loneliness, and strength. It's been a week where I've felt nothing but regret. Regret for what I did, regret for regretting what I did. We needed a break but I somehow regretted it. A week full of confusion. Should I text him? Should I call him? Should I fly out to see him? It's been a week of full of mixed emotions. I want to see him and be in his arms, I want to talk to him, to tell me everything will be okay. But I'm still mad at him. It's been a week of me taking care of Carter alone, who reminds me of Austin so much it hurts. A week full of me ignoring everyone who calls, comes, or speaks to me. It's been a week full of me thinking and debating on what to do. It's been a week since I've talked to anyone. It's been a week since one of the worst day of my life.
It's been a week since I've seen her. I miss he more than ever. I can't decided if I should give her space or not. I want to hear her voice but I'm afraid that if I call her she'll be mad that I didn't give her space or tome to think. I miss Carter, my mom but most of all my fiancé. What was I thinking? I shouldn't have let her go! I need to get her back. But how? She needs her space and I respect that. We do need a break. But this break has been awful. I know we didn't break up but I still need her back.
I need to fly back to Miami with a huge surprise for her and do everything I can to get her back, everything I can to get the love of my life back into my life, everything I can to get her to be my date to the EMAs, everything I can to get her to be my fiancé again, everything I can to make her fall in love with me again. And everything I can do to make this happen again. But most importantly do everything I can to make her feel loved again.
I haven't seen Austin this depressed since Kayla got pregnant and left. He has been thinking hard everyday for a week about her. They're in love and I've never seen anyone more in love than them. They need to get back together. I ship them! Lol. Anyways it's hard seeing him like this. I know they hate fighting, but they're fighting for their relationship to work because they love each other so much. It's not a good relationship unless you fight. I mean yeah it depends on the fighting and if you still love that person after fighting.
I'm really worried about Kayla. She won't talk to anyone. I've called and visited her multiple times a day with no luck. She won't answer. He door is locked and this worries me. I haven't seen her like this since she left after she found out she was pregnant. I've talked to Austin on the phone and he's the same way. This really shows that they are head over heels for each other. I've never loved any of Austin's girlfriend so much before. She's perfect for him and he's perfect for her. They're each others other halves. They can't live without each other and that really shows in times like now.
Austin is the boy I'm in love with. I can't live without him. He's my other half. When he's gone so is half of my heart. I'm not myself when he's not around. I'm not myself when we fight and are away from each other. He captured my heart and I'm never letting him go.