The Not So Magical Fable

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In the forest there was a man

Who was bright, full of wonder

And never lived by any plan

His name was Eros the quick

He had feet as fast as the wind

Eros was cute and dark skinned

Eros was in the forest walking his route

Picking up rocks and messing about

When all of a sudden, rustling in the grass

Was a short old dwarf wiping his ass

Rubbing his little butt with large green leaves

Eros begins to gag, cough, and spit as he heaves

The little dwarf scrubbing and digging real deep

Turns each leaf brown and throws them in a heap

Eros begins to choke up vomit and feel it rise

He holds his mouth shut, trying not to give the dwarf a surprise

Eros can take no more so he looks away

Grabs his walking stick and doesn't stay

Eros steps on a twig and puts the dwarf on alert

The dwarf spots him and bellows, "Oi You nasty pervert!"

With his little Scottish accent, he gets more pissed

He shouts, "Get out of here before I beat you with me fist!"

The dwarf looks at Eros with intent and gets in a fit

"Don't ever look at my arse again while I'm taking shit!"

Eros turns around and runs away as quickly as can be

He runs and runs, until the dwarf he can no longer see

He runs home fast, to a little cottage deep in the woods

His wife was standing in the kitchen handling their goods

She looks at him and says, "Oh my darling your home so soon?"

"I'm glad! I've made us supper" as she grasps a wooden spoon

Eros looks at her while he's out of breath and leans on the Oak door

Trying hard to catch his breath, after the fastest run he's ever had before

"Are you alright my darling?" His wife Aura queries with concern

"Yes my love, just a little run around" Eros says in return

"Well while you were out, I found the most wonderful leaves"

"They're brown and beautiful and would look great on the eaves"

"I thought they were so amazing I put some in our porridge too"

Eros recognizes the leaves as the porridge started to brew

He began to feel the vomit rise again, as he looked at Aura and had to admit

Eros gags and chokes, then replies, "Darling... Those are covered in shit!"

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