In the forest there was a man
Who was bright, full of wonder
And never lived by any plan
His name was Eros the quick
He had feet as fast as the wind
Eros was cute and dark skinned
Eros was in the forest walking his route
Picking up rocks and messing about
When all of a sudden, rustling in the grass
Was a short old dwarf wiping his ass
Rubbing his little butt with large green leaves
Eros begins to gag, cough, and spit as he heaves
The little dwarf scrubbing and digging real deep
Turns each leaf brown and throws them in a heap
Eros begins to choke up vomit and feel it rise
He holds his mouth shut, trying not to give the dwarf a surprise
Eros can take no more so he looks away
Grabs his walking stick and doesn't stay
Eros steps on a twig and puts the dwarf on alert
The dwarf spots him and bellows, "Oi You nasty pervert!"
With his little Scottish accent, he gets more pissed
He shouts, "Get out of here before I beat you with me fist!"
The dwarf looks at Eros with intent and gets in a fit
"Don't ever look at my arse again while I'm taking shit!"
Eros turns around and runs away as quickly as can be
He runs and runs, until the dwarf he can no longer see
He runs home fast, to a little cottage deep in the woods
His wife was standing in the kitchen handling their goods
She looks at him and says, "Oh my darling your home so soon?"
"I'm glad! I've made us supper" as she grasps a wooden spoon
Eros looks at her while he's out of breath and leans on the Oak door
Trying hard to catch his breath, after the fastest run he's ever had before
"Are you alright my darling?" His wife Aura queries with concern
"Yes my love, just a little run around" Eros says in return
"Well while you were out, I found the most wonderful leaves"
"They're brown and beautiful and would look great on the eaves"
"I thought they were so amazing I put some in our porridge too"
Eros recognizes the leaves as the porridge started to brew
He began to feel the vomit rise again, as he looked at Aura and had to admit
Eros gags and chokes, then replies, "Darling... Those are covered in shit!"
YOU ARE READING
HanMan's Unpopular GemsPoetry
A Collection of my least popular poems. The ones that didn't receive the most reads, votes, and comments, but have a special place in my heart. They aren't the most popular but they are true gems.