Author's Chappie

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    Hi people! This is my first book that I will hopefully finish - completely finish. No kidding. My first 3 books I wanted to write failed drastically..

1st book: Died during 2nd chapter.
2nd book: Died during 2nd chapter. (I'm liking the pattern)
3rd book: Didn’t even begin.

I know what you guys are thinking (if anybody reads this thing). I wouldn’t pin high hopes on me, either.

    First of all, just want to clear some things:

1) There’s a shitload amount of swearing in this book. Seriously, I don’t know where the bloody fucking normal words disappear to. But it is limited to a small range as I do not really know how to put the word “motherfucker” into normal content.

2) Any names that may be similar or the same as someone you know, or the name of a building/school/sheep that is the same is a total coincidence. And try not to diss the cast, please? If you’re also a writer, you’ll understand the pain I went to to find people who look like my characters.

3) For anyone who doesn’t like it when people use the G-d’s name in vain, I am ever so sorry. I have also decided to write G-d this way to respect any Jews out there.

4) She’s very sarcastic. Her sarcasm is like mine – so advanced that people think that I’m fucked up in the head. No joke.

5) The book is set in Essex, in UK. Written by a British person. If I have anybody correcting it with their American spellings, I WILL KILL YOU. Joking, I’ll just get extremely pissed off and ignore the processing thought of maybe following you. And no, this has got nothing to do with TOWIE, because TOWIE is disrespectable to most of us Essexians (made up name).

6) I am so sorry if I got some of Italian wrong; as I don’t speak it, I cheated and used Bing Translator which is more reliable than Google Translator. I hope.

7) The book is kinda crap, so if you delete it from your library, I honestly won’t be offended. Well, maybe a little bit. Not too offended, anyway.

And because I can:

    To @doodling_dreams, for being my best friend, and for scaring me into writing a book that will hopefully go past three chapters with one of your creative threats (If you don’t, I’ll kill off my main characters/tell all of our teachers you fancy them/ smash your face in with a hammer…). 

    To Wattpad, for encouraging me to start writing again after reading so many fantastic pieces written by others.

    And lastly, to my brother, @reader12012, for telling me to get my own account or piss off. Thank you.

Have fun reading!

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