Chapter 84: Living Shit

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        We only had one week left of tour and I wasn't sure where all the time went. The nights were just as warm, and Kara and I only had a few short days before we would have to fly home, pack our things and get ready to move into U.M. While the four boys would be bussing the rest of the way to California, where they were going to start working on their first album with their producer.

        I tried my best not to think about it anymore, and I felt a small comfort in the fact that I wouldn't have to go through all this alone. As selfish as it was, it was good that Kara was here, suffering with me. If I was on my own again, I'm sure I would never make it. Thinking about being away from my best friends and Alex for that long didn't really set with me. I was sure to be missing Alex whle he is recording and I'm at school.

        I was hard to think about not waking up to Alex's face next to mine, or the smell of his shirt while I snuggled into his side. The way he kisses my hair and rests his fingers on my hipbones, and his soft singing when he is sure I'm asleep and I focus on his raspy lullaby.

       I was wandering again, I seemed to do that a lot lately. Even if I loved my best friends, and spent every single second with them I liked to have time to myself after the shows. I wasn't sure why, but I liked the quiet, to think. Maybe it was because of the fact that my dad left, and I was constantly wondering if he was okay. Or maybe it was the way he left, and I know now to take anything for granted anymore. I didn't want to go through life without admiring the things that I did or being grateful for the people who are with me every single day. Sometimes you need to remember what's important.

        We had just got to the next venue, and I wasn't tired enough to sleep yet. So when Alex decided to shower, I snuck out. I wasn't trying to hide from him, I just wanted time to myself. And sometimes when I say I'm going to take a walk, he insists on coming with me. He tells me that "there are too many psycho molestors" out there. Personally, I just thought that he was watching way too many scary movies.

        The venue was close to a park that I discovered soon after walking away from the bus. It was only five hundred yards away from the busses, and I took the opportunity to follow the small paths that led me around the playground and basketball courts.

        You could see off behind some of the trees that there was a downtown area to whatever Illinois city we were in. The lights were showing and since it was a Friday, there were people walking down the strets to get to the clubs and party scene that I didn't want to be a part of.

        I walked around the length of the park, and was turning around when Is aw a group of bodies in the shadows. They were probably two hundred feet away, but one hundred off to the left, towards the playground. I could hear their loud laughing from where I was walking, and I could only think of the word 'rude' to the owners of the homes around the park.

        I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my sweatshirt, quickening my pace to pass the playground. I honestly wanted to get away from their voices. They were killing the calm mood I was in, and were starting to annoy me. My legs were exposed in small jean shorts, the summer air still to warm to need anything else.

        Almost like clockwork, the group of people were standing, and walking casually to the pathway that I was on. They were talking carelessly to one another in loud voices. I was convinced that there weren't any girls in that group. I only could hear the bellowing laughs of the guys.

        I was sure that they were only on the path to walk towards the city life that was only a few hundred feet after you got to the end of the path that I was at. I moved off to the side of the path, steping into the grass and not allowing myself to make eye contact with them as they were only feet away from me at this point.

        When they stopped their annoying chuckles, I listened to their voices, shoulders tensing at the very familiar English accent that was now three feet away from  me. "The lass wouldn' even do meh!" I cringed at his words, sinking in my hoodie, picking up my pace, walking faster.

        I tried not to breathe when a hand touched my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks. I tugged against their grip, trying not to speak or show my face. I didn't want them to see me; I didn't want them to talk to me. Oliver tried to use me, and I wasn't friends with people who did that. I would never let myself sink so low to be even friends with a guy like him.

        "Stelleh?" Curtis's voice was taunting, an evil smile obviously painted on his face without having to see it. He tugged off my hood, exposing my face to the band an their faces changed drastically. They went from surprised, to mischievous, and wicked seconds later. It's like they didn't have to speak to know that each of them was going to give me a hard time. I didn't have to ask, either, because I knew them well enough that they would never let go of what happened with Alex in Florida. "Long time no seah!"

        "I have to go," I tried to pull away from his grip, but it only tightened against my arm, hurting slightly. "Let me go, Curtis."

        "Yeh know, yeh still pretty hot even if yeh are a tease," Oliver's voice entered my ears, and I closed my eyes as he closed in, hand replacing Curtis's on my arm. I gulped, looking at the small height difference between us. He was smirking down at me, pulling me closer to his body with just the small pull of his wrist. Even if he was so little, I didn't stand a chance against any of them.

        "Tease? You're delusional if you think I'd ever want to lead on the likes of you," I gritted through my teeth, pushing my hand against his chest while he placed his hand on my lower back. I was growling to myself, honestly pissed at how weak I was. He wasn't even putting up a fight against me, because there wasn't enough strength against him.

        "Feisty still," He leaned his face closer to mine, still giving that awful grin. His full lips were the only thing in my view, and all I could do was lean forward quickly, smashing my forehead aginst his with a loud crack. His grip on my body loostened enough for me to pull away as he grunted in pain.

        I stumbled backwards, grabbing my head as it throbbed. I cursed silently, stomping my foot while backing away quickly. None of the guys knew how to react to what I'd done, because I was sure they weren't expecting me to fight them off. The plan sounded so much better in my head than when I actually did it.

        "Yeh bitch!" He snarled at me while I glanced up in his direction. He was holding his eye, glaring in my direction. I flipped him off suddenly, walking backwards in a clumsy manner. It wasn't three seconds later before I hit my back against a warm body. I jumped, startled at the collision, until I heard the voice.

        "What the fuck did you do to her?" Alex rumbled behind me, body moving in front of mine and taking away my view of Bring Me the Horizon. He pulled my hand away from my face, letting out a pained breath before turning his head towards Oliver and his band. "You're so fucking lucky we're on tour!"

        "She's not worth et anyway," He shouted angirly, turning on his heel and his band followed in suit. I flippe them off as they walked away, temple pulsing with my heart. That would sure feel great in the morning.

        "I swear to fucking god, the day this tour's over, I'm kicking the living shit out of that prick," he hissed, turning back towards my face, fingers touching it delicately. He bit the inside of his cheek in the dim light, nodding back towards the bus. "Let's get you some ice."

        My heartbeat was just as fast as it was when I noticed Oliver. I was convinced for a few minutes that it was because he freaked me out. But as Alex pressed his mouth to mine softly in an apology, my body felt an electric shock, and I remembered that he always did that to me.

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