Last night I went to bed at 3 AM waiting for Austin to come home even though I knew he wasn't coming home. The next time I woke up, Carter was crying. I checked my phone and saw it was 6 AM. I was exhausted. I went to get Carter. I changed his diaper and fed him then I put him on the couch and laid next to him. I just sat there and though. Tough about how much I missed Austin, how much I screw up at life, and how lonely I am. Next thing I know it's 8 AM. My cheeks were wet from crying all night. I decided to shower so I didn't look so bad. Then I put on some of Austin's sweats and one of his Trukfit sweatshirts. It smelled like him which made me miss him more. I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch by Carter again. I decided to see if Lexi would watch him today so I could figure out my miserable life.
Me: Hey I hate to ask this but could you watch Carter today while I try to get my life together? :/
Lexi: Don't ever hesitate to ask :) I'm here if you need to talk!
Me: Okay we'll talk when u get here.
Lexi: Okay I'm coming with Starbucks!
Me: You just made my day!
I sat on the couch and waited for Lexi to come. She came and we talked and then she took Carter and left. I was thinking about calling Austin when my phone rang. It was him.
''Hey.'' I said quietly.
''Hey, umm I just wanted to let you know I'm leaving tomorrow for a couple shows in California.''
That broke my heart.
''Oh...'' I didn't know how to respond. I decided to text Alex what was going on now and see if he would come over.
Me: I'm litteraly sitting here in his clothes thinking about calling him after I stayed up all night long waiting for him to come home even though I knew he wouldn't. And now he calls me and tells me he's leaving for shows. I'm crying all the tears left I can cry. My life is so screwed up. Please come over. I need someone to talk and cuddle with.
Alex texts me back.
You can come with me. I'm so sorry.
What?? That doesn't make sense. I checked my phone sure enough I accidently texted that to Austin instead of Alex. I quickly texted Alex what I meant to send him in the first place then texted Austin.
Me: Sh*t, did not mean to send that to you!!
Austin: It's fine, you can still come :/
That text made me cry more than ever. I felt horrible! I needed to go back home but then I was leaving so there was no point so I didn't know what to do. I told her she could come so maybe we could talk. But I highly doubt she'll want to come with me.
Kayla: Okay, maybe we need to talk though.
Me: That's why I want you to come.
Kayla: Okay maybe. What about Carter?
Me: Is he with you now?
Kayla: No I asked Lexi to watch him today.
Me: Okay my mom could watch him
Kayla: Yeah, I feel bad though.
Me: Don't worry about it I'll talk to her plus we need time alone to talk and she'll understand.
Kayla: Okay. Is Alex coming?
Me: Of course.
Kayla: Okay, I'll talk to you later
I was glad we texted I just hope she'll come tomorrow.......