Chapter 4

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Valarie

In less than a day, I would get my first look at the Kingdom.

I was so restless that the hair at the back of my neck was prickling. I shuffled my feet, staring out into the ever-thinning forest. The car we were in ate up the miles.

Sophia looked up from the book she was reading and stared me down until I quieted, arranging my legs one over the other and trying not to bounce my foot.

I wanted to run.

But in just a few hours we'd reach the outskirts of the Kingdom, and already in the small communities we'd passed through people had gathered at the roadside to catch a glimpse of the Autumn Princess. Which mean they would also see me. Which meant I had to be on my best behavior.

Which I wasn't great at. I had never been more aware of my poor posture.

Actually, outside of the palace I found it hard to behave. I obeyed my parents and made sure the family had everything they needed that I could provide. But beyond that, I was often tempted.

It had started just after my sixteenth birthday when I'd really begun to feel the pull of the moon. I'd transformed for the first time that autumn and discovered John at the same time – another omega in the pack who was two years older than me.

I could clearly recall his body, stocky and strong, muscles rippling with the most subtle of movements. His hair had always been tousled, his eyes bright with laughter, dark with lust when we were alone.

"You alright there?" Sophia asked with eyebrows raised, breaking me of my reverie.

I glanced down at the book Sophia held and my face soured.

"I'm fine," I said shortly.

But now other memories were rushing in; my seventeenth birthday, trying to convince John to go further, to experiment more when we met up in the middle of the night. His strong hands hesitant on my bare waist.

He'd lost his patience with me quickly. His family was one of the oldest in the pack, coming from a long line of omegas who were used to obeying tradition.

For John, that meant being celibate until he found his mate during a ceremony. And he had this past spring.

I felt my face flush as I recalled attending the ceremony and staying until the next day's light, as the newly mated pairs wandered out of the forest sated and happy. I'd stood among the murmuring crowd feeling small and unwanted when I saw John and the petite girl he'd chosen to pair with.

I looked down at my feet. My parents had never mentioned the mating ceremony, and most families in the packs didn't attend them anymore. It was an outdated tradition. But John's family had believed in it strongly, and he'd found happiness somewhere else, was touching someone else –

I shook my head and glanced at Sophia's book once more.

"Did you bring any of your own?" Sophia asked, a teasing lilt to her voice. "To keep you...entertained?"

"No, I didn't, for your information," I replied hotly, crossing my legs once more. Okay...that was a lie. I had two tucked away in my luggage. But she didn't need to know that.

The books Sophia was referring to were of a somewhat smutty sort. I had discovered a small collection of them one day in the library at the castle – purely educational, one of the maids had insisted while blushing and shooing us out of the room – and I'd been hooked ever since.
It wasn't hard to get my hands on the books as merchants and sellers were often invited to the palace for Sophia and her family to look through their products without having to feel stared at. And they kept the family's secrets, too.

And Sophia had offered to keep my books in her own rooms, hidden away, for me to read at leisure when we were supposed to be doing something feminine like knitting or gossiping.

Both of us loved reading, which is why Sophia only teased me occasionally about the material I was so enraptured by.

Some nights when we were both restless Sophia would ask me to read passages to her from the dirty books. We'd wait until the castle quieted, start a fire and candles, and discover the secrets of sex and dominance in those pages. Both of us were always left sweaty and squirming, unable to make eye contact.

I knew that Sophia dreamed of the classic prince charming. By now she had probably slapped King Gabriel's face on that fantasy.

But no matter how hard I tried, always thought of John and his strong body. Maybe if I hadn't pushed him so hard...

It didn't matter now.

"Do you think you'll lose your virginity on this trip?" Sophia asked casually, closing the book and sitting up.

"I doubt it," I said hopelessly. "I'll be too busy looking after you, won't I?"

"Not necessarily," Sophia replied. "There will be a handful of private events that even the ladies aren't allowed to attend. Audiences with the Queen. Certain preparations for the Hunt. I'm sure you'll be able to find some time to get rid of the pesky thing."

Sophia was smirking at me in that mischievous way that so few people saw. I hoped that King Gabriel knew what he was getting himself into. I could begrudgingly admit that Sophia would make a great Alpha Queen to the Kingdom and the packs. She was strong and beautiful, serious, decorous, and had a sense of humor that would keep men entertained and enchanted.

As I considered it I was very aware of my own flaws and all of the standards I didn't meet. I tried to fight off the feeling that I would never be more than an omega's daughter, but John's disappointed eyes stared back at me from my mind.



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