Becoming Ready

Chapter 5 - Alcoholics Anonymous

Later that day when Charlie finally made it home, she felt absolutely miserable. After she got her nausea somewhat under control, she tried to help John clean up after the party. Most of the mess was her fault, after all. She still had the hangover from hell, as well as overwhelming guilt and anxiety. She apologized profusely to Taylor, who gave her a few details about the night, but spared her the unnecessary messy ones. Charlie knew enough to know that she had really scared her.

Courtney knew just by looking at her that something had happened. She walked in to Charlie's room, studying her carefully. Charlie laid on her bed, barely acknowledging her presence.

"Well, I was going to come in here to talk to you about the fact that we are broker than broke, but you look like death," Courtney said. "What happened last night?"

Charlie told her everything. Or at least, almost everything. She left out the part where she thought she was dying. But combined with what Taylor had told her, it painted a clear enough picture of what happened the night before for Courtney to understand.

Courtney thought for a few moments before she spoke. "Charlie, I think you should come to an AA meeting with me."

Charlie groaned into her pillow. "Trust me, I never want to drink again after that."

"That's fine for now, but eventually you aren't going to remember how awful this feels, and it will happen again," Courtney said.

"Fine," Charlie agreed. "I will go with you to a meeting. But I'm not going to raise my hand, or say my name, or whatever."

"You don't have to do anything, just as long as you go," Courtney accepted.

After Courtney left her room, Charlie called Shawn. She had a pit in her stomach, on top of the leftover nausea, just thinking about what he was going to say.

"Hey Charlie," he answered.

"Shawn, I'm so sorry," she began. "Last night was probably the worst night of my entire life. I blacked out again... I don't even know what happened."

"What? Are you okay?" Shawn asked, sounding extremely concerned.

"Yes, I'm okay. I feel awful, but I'm fine. I think I'm going to go to a meeting with Courtney," she said.

"That's probably a good idea," Shawn agreed.

She felt herself starting to tear up. "Do you want to break up with me?" She had to ask the question before they said anything else. She just needed to know.

"No, of course not," he answered. "Especially not if you want to get some help. I think that's great."

She breathed out a sigh of relief. Shawn didn't want to dump her. Charlie thought about how just six months ago, she had been in Shawn's shoes and he had been in hers. It was only fair, even though she was less than excited about it, that she go to AA.

The next day Charlie still felt really out of it. She couldn't quite explain it, but she was almost... sad. She felt displaced, like she didn't belong anywhere. It was all because of what happened at the party, and she knew it.

Courtney had to practically drag Charlie to the meeting. She already felt out of sorts, so going to a brand-new place, especially someplace like Alcoholics Anonymous, was less than appealing. Courtney told her she didn't have to dress nicely or even get ready if she didn't want to. No one would care if she went in her sweatpants.

The meeting was in the basement of a Church. Charlie followed Courtney down the steps begrudgingly. As they approached the door, Charlie looked up and saw an extremely handsome young guy shaking people's hands as they walked in.

"Welcome," he said to each person he clasped hands with.

The moment she saw him, she abruptly turned around and began to walk away. But before she got far, Courtney grabbed her arm.

"Oh no you don't, you can't leave now," Courtney said to her in a tone that meant it wasn't up for negotiation.

Charlie turned and looked at her incredulously. "Why didn't you tell me that there are hot guys here! I thought everyone would be over fifty, at least," she hissed.

Courtney gave her a quizzical look in return. "Why would you think everyone is over fifty? Shawn goes to AA, and so do I."

"Court, I'm wearing sweatpants for crying out loud! Not to mention I haven't washed my hair, and I am paler than death itself."

Courtney appeared unmoved. "And what do you care? You have a boyfriend. Let's go."

Boyfriend or not, she doubted any girl wanted to look this disheveled in front of a hot guy. Charlie thought about digging her heels in, but she didn't want to create a scene. She let Courtney pull her back toward the door.

"Hi River!" Courtney greeted the guy. "This is my younger sister, Charlie."

Charlie waved awkwardly from behind Courtney, not saying a word.

"Welcome, Charlie," River smiled warmly. His dark brown eyes glinted mischievously as he regarded her. He had tan skin and dark, nearly black hair. He was extremely fit, and he looked like he had Asian heritage. He reminded her of the actor Henry Golding. His ears had more piercings than hers, and he was so well dressed that he put male models to shame. Charlie felt like an absolute idiot standing there in her hoodie.

"Yep, thanks," she said grimly, walking away as soon as it was socially acceptable.

Courtney stayed with River and chatted, so Charlie looked around for two empty seats. The room was extremely crowded. She finally found a couple chairs in the back that didn't have anything on them. She wasn't sure, but it seemed like people had saved all the other seats with small pieces of paper, or small personal belongings. When she saw people walking in and claiming those seats, her suspicions were confirmed.

There were nearly two hundred people there, young and old. The sheer amount of young, attractive people definitely threw Charlie for a loop. It wasn't that she didn't think young people could be alcoholics, she just didn't realize that so many young people in Bridgeport were sober.

Of all the things she noticed, one thing stood out the most. Everyone seemed lively, and happy to be there. The vibe wasn't at all as serious as she had pictured. After seeing so many TV shows that represented AA as a bunch of sad people sitting in a circle talking about their feelings, this was completely unexpected. It seemed like people were actually having a good time. A bell rang in the distance, signaling it was time for the meeting to start.

Charlie pulled her hood over her head and slouched in her chair as someone walked to the podium and launched into a reading from something called the Big Book. One thing was for sure, she would never be caught dead looking like this in public ever again.