nineteen

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Naira wasn't sure whether to be amused or annoyed when she found Rayan asleep in the lounge. His hoodie was over his head as his head rested on the sofa armrest, arms folded across his chest and legs dangling off.

She took a few steps closer, a smile finding its way to her lips as she wondered how he could sleep so peacefully with all the work she gave him. 

Her eyes were drawn to his flawless features, the milky brown of his skin, the way his jaw was edged on an angle, or the fullness of his dark lashes. A stubble grazed his chin, making him look more refined than a teenage dream. 

Even Naira couldn't deny the palpitations of her heart when he lowered his voice to a deep, sensual tone as if he knew exactly how to strum the strings to a woman's heart. He was a popstar after all. 

She clutched the strap of her leather bag,  knowing she was crossing into a territory she forbid herself from. Love could not be simplified in equations, nor could it be understood through logical reasoning. 

A part of her ached to reach out and brush the stray curl away from his forehead, to feel the heat of his skin against hers. 

Bad Naira, she chided herself with a vicious shake of her head. Remember why Islam prohibits these types of relationships. Love is supposed to mean more than physical desire. 

Rayan's eyes fluttered open as a smirk settled across his lips. "Don't tell me you're done staring already?" he teased, stretching his arms behind his head. "I like having your eyes on me."

Naira scowled. 

"Where's that pretty smile?"

"Far away from you," she replied bluntly, preparing to walk away. "See you tomorrow."

"Whoa, wait!" A loud thud was heard behind her as footsteps shuffled against the floor. "Naira, wait. I'm sorry!"

She turned around, raising a brow at him. "What could you possibly need now? I'm trying to go home." 

He bit his lip, sea-green eyes conflicted as if debating his next words. "I want to talk some more," he breathed, staring at her deeply. 

It wasn't his words that made her chest constrict. It was his gaze. The specks of emerald that spread like leaves in his eyes brought a sense of peace, brought a longing she couldn't understand. He looked at her with such ardor that she stumbled at the intensity of his gaze. 

She cleared her throat, attempting to keep the professionalism between them. "About what?" she asked. 

His gaze didn't waver from her face, didn't stray for even a second. She watched, transfixed, as his features softened, a smile that made her heart pound staring back at her. There was a pull between them as if the hands of fate were playing its cards. 

Slowly, he walked towards her, careful to leave some distance. Lifting his hand, it seemed that he would hold her cheek, and Naira winced, expecting him to cross that boundary. She was ready to run, yet her body was taut, mind numbed to the voices screaming at her to pull away.

Her fists were already clenched, though her body and mind did not seem to cooperate. She was driving herself mad with a feverish need. The logical part of her fought viciously against it.

Ya Allah, don't let him cross that line. 

Rayan's hand stopped midway, hanging in the air in a sharp pause. She could hear his ragged breaths, could see his pupils dilate with desire. Again, there was that trail of ambivalence, and his hesitation caused him to drop his hand. 

Naira breathed a sigh of relief, even though a part of her was disappointed. What's wrong with me?

"I... I..." he struggled to find words, running his fingers through his disheveled head of curls. "God, Naira. What am I going to do?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat, finding the courage to speak. "What do you mean?" she breathed in a soft voice like a lotus floating in peace after a storm.

Shadows crossed the harsh edges of his visage, crescent eyes glowing with a different light, away from the playful antics they usually shared. This time, she saw the burning flames course through him, saw the way his lashes lowered, a shade of evergreen and cerulean circling his irises. 

"How do I get a piece of my sanity back?"

"You are sane."

"Not around you," he whispered. "Not when you drive me fucking crazy. Don't you feel it, Naira? Don't you feel this between us?"

Naira chose to be silent, not knowing how she could remedy the rift she allowed to grow. If she had just been more forceful, maybe then she wouldn't have to break his heart. She didn't want to. 

When she still didn't respond, she saw the desperation claw at him.

"It can't be just me," he chocked, voice breaking. "I know it isn't. You feel it too."

"Rayan-" she tried to stop him from the train of realizations.

He shook his head furiously. "The amount of nights I've stayed awake hearing your voice, your laughter are innumerable. Every time I close my eyes, I see you, Naira. I see you laughing with me, see you in my arms," he fiercely stated. "You're the song I never want to stop hearing, a dream I don't want to wake up from. Can't you see that?"

She bit her lip, nervous. "You're an international popstar. There's no need for you to flatter me with compliments or to even think about me."

"Yet you're still always on my mind."

"I never asked to be on it," she argued back even though she felt her own heart break.

"And I never planned to fall in love."

Her eyes widened. "W-What?"

Rayan flashed one of his megawatt smiles. "I'm in love with you," he confessed.

Shit. He said it.

----

Not gonna lie, I was going to make him confess a lot later but I realized that'd limit the scenes I want to write for certain arcs.

I do like my element of surprise :D

Before I get some "it's going too fast comments," lemme explain. Romance and love isn't confined to a timeline. There's no need to go from "I like you" to "I love you" or from friends to lovers.

Every love story is different. Every person feels differently. The more you age the more you understand your feelings better.

Is that everyone? Of course not. We're all different. You can even tell based on how Naira's interacted with Rayan the entire story. To an outsider, it looks like she isn't into him but in her thoughts we see her inner conflict with coming to terms with her emotions.

I'll get more into that later ;)

How do you think the Ice Queen will react?

If you haven't joined the discord server, there's a linktree thing on my profile. Don't forget to vote, comment, and follow!


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