Chapter 19.

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Sarang, are you okay?" Suho asked me for the millionth time since he saw me crying in front of the glass window of Luhan's room, he wrapped his arms around me to comfort me but it felt as If I were held by a stranger, his embrace didn't feel familiar at all.

"Should I get you something to eat? you didn't have anything-"

"Lay, I don't want to eat anything." 

"She only wants Luhan to wake up guys." Kyungsoo felt the need to state the obvious, causing the others to glare at him, and for Kai to lift his fist in the air in order to hit him.

"Isn't it past your bedtime, Kyungsoo?" Baekhyun asked, clearly wanting to lift up the mood, but I just couldn't even manage the smallest smile while I know that I was on the verge of losing my bestfriend in the whole world. Forever.

"Guys..." I heard Xuimin say, but didn't bother to look at him to know that he wanted the boys to just shut their mouths.

While I kept waiting for my bestfriend to wake up, hoping that he'd tell me that he was fine and that none of this was actually true, nurse Jinhee came out of his room to tell us that he was doing the same, no improvements whatsoever. Tears filled my eyes as I sank back into my seat and Suho rubbed his hands up my arms to try to comfort me, it didn't work. Nothing would work.

"Sehun, what the?" I heard Chanyeol saying and instinctively looked up to see that it was indeed, Sehun who was standing just a few feet away from me, dressed in all black and...dark stains?

I jumped out of my seat and ran toward Sehun, checking for any injuries causing that dark red stains on his shirt, "Sehun, what happened?" I asked, but he didn't reply, and when I asked again, he finally looked into my eyes as his bottom lip started quivering. "I lost him." he said, almost knocking the air out of me, I didn't fully comprehend who he meant, but then I realized that...

"Where is Tao?" I asked and I started shaking him until he finally replied. "She took him away from me, just like she took away everything else." Sehun looked so distant as the words automatically rolled down his tongue. I placed a hand over his heart and I could swear that I didn't feel it beating for a moment before he lifted my hand up and pushed it away. "Don't fucking touch me." He said and walked right past me and the boys, each of them suffering to keep their jaws off the floor.

◈◈◈

It's been almost an hour since Sehun had left, and I was told about Tao's car accident, the doctors said they couldn't save him, he was already bleeding a lot and that there was nothing they could've done to bring him back, taking all of those news in caused me a massive headache, I had lost a good friend on one side, while I was about to lose the other one to cancer, just by the time my mom came back with my night bag, she noticed how awful I looked.

"Oh my god Sarang! what happened? are you alright? is Luhan fine?" She directed the question to everyone that was sitting around me, including a couple of strangers.

"It's Tao, mom." I said, biting my lower lip to keep me from crying harder, his loss was so unexpected, I wish I could find Sehun to comfort him, but how? how could I leave my bestfriend in the whole world and run after the guy I love? 

I was in a huge mess, and it was already suffocating me.

Suho moved down the bench so my mom could sit next to me, and just as she was about to wrap her arms around me, nurse Jinhee came running down from one of the hospital's corridors.

"We found a donor!" she yelled out, almost jumping in her place from how happy she was, I realized that I was on my feet too, not jumping in particular, since Tao's death had a huge impact on me, but I was definitely relieved for Luhan. The boys were rooting for her, while my mom started a silence, thanking pray.

"Really? can they perform the operation right now?" I asked, and she laughed through happy tears as she said, "not now, but definitely tomorrow." 

"Can I know who the doner is?" I asked, a part of me thinking that it might be his grandmother since well, he's the most precious person to her and she'd choose for him to live instead of her. But I still don't think a selfish woman like her would go that far for anyone. Although I have to say, what kind of a brave person would end their life to save another one?

Jinhee regarded for a moment before shaking her head, "I'm afraid not. He told us not to give out any infos. Besides his gender." She said, and I nodded in understanding, even though I still wanted to meet the person who was going to save my bestfriend's life.

"We'll admit him into a room and prepare him for tomorrow's surgery in like -she gazes down at her handwatch- half an hour. Gotta go." She said before turning on her heels and walk away, but quickly walking back as she seemed to have forgotten something. 

"I'm not sure what kind of relationship you two have, but the doner wanted me to give this to you and told me that once you listen to it, you'll know where to go." She said as she handed me a voice recorder, and turned around to leave, not giving me the chance to ask anything. 

 When I looked back at my friends and my mom, I noticed that none of them had paid attention to what Jinhee had given me since they were too busy calling their families and tell them the good news.

I walked away from them so they couldn't see me, and played the recorder, my heart skipping a beat as I recognized whom the voice had belonged to...

""I might have killed a man in the past, okay, maybe two. Doesn't mean that I'm the insane one here."

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