Synthetic

Chapter 32

A few months later...

It was today.

The months had flown past, it was October, the day of the wedding. I was panicking while Ryan sat next to me, sighing to signal his boredom.

"Chris, stop freaking the fuck out. He's stayed with you, even though you beat the shit out of him. He's not going to leave you, he loves you."

I knew what Ryan was saying was true, but that didn't help calm my nerves. I believed him, and at the same time I didn't. Nerves, I assume. I'd changed so much, all because of this blue eyed boy. Well, man, but you get what I mean.

Ryan sighed at my expression before throwing my tuxedo at me and walking out of the room. "Come get me when you're finished putting that on, and Ashley will do your hair." Ashley was here? Great, who else was here? In fact, I don't even want to know. 

I sighed, and peeled off my black shirt, wondering about Ricky. Was he okay? Or did he feel the same way I did, consumed by fear? What if he ended up with cold feet, and he ran away from the church before we could get married? 

So many thoughts were plaguing my mind, and none of them were any good. Of course, after the wedding, things would be even better than before. 

He'd legally be mine, all mine, and nothing would ever take him away from me. 

But what if things didn't work out, and i was wasting thousands paying for a wedding that would only be in vain? I stopped that thought instantly; now wasn't the time to be thinking like that. I grabbed the suit shirt and quickly put it on, the fabric sliding easily against my skin.

While I was buttoning the shirt up, I remembered the first time I laid eyes on Ricky, and sighed. How things have changed since then. Although my temper has been curbed significantly, I knew that side of me was still there, waiting. 

But I wouldn't hurt Ricky, not again. It'd destroyed me when I actually realised how big of an effect the pain had caused him. He'd been waking up for weeks with a reoccurring nightmare of the shit I put him through. It broke my heart. 

I slid the joggers off and stepped into the trousers, sighing as i glanced in the mirror. I had the same eyes, the same face. But I wasn't the same person, i was a better person now, I didn't believe the way i was before; it horrified me. 

(Ricky)

Ronnie and Nikki locked eyes and both of them shared the same smug grin before handing me a mirror. 

For a few moments, i just stared in shock at the stranger in the mirror, the familiar stranger. They'd done my makeup better than I could've ever imagined, my eyeshadow was like smoke, blended and shadowy, just the way I wanted it. they'd done my Eyeliner, too, and it was perfect. 

Everything i could ever want they'd done, and they both looked pleased, until they saw the tears in my eyes. "Ricky? What's wrong?" I sniffled and looked at Ronnie. "I just...Why would Chris want to be with someone like me, when he could have anybody he wants?"

Nikki tried to interrupt, but my thoughts were spiralling. "What if he has second thoughts? What if he doesn't want to marry me anymore?" I let out a whimper before I carried on. "What if he realises he doesn't want me and leaves me in front of the alter? I couldn't cope if that happened, I really couldn't." 

Ronnie sighed, and pulled up a chair, sitting down.

We were in Nikki's house, while Chris was at home, with Ashley and Ryan getting him ready. Willow walked up to me and smiled sweetly, dressed in her white dress, as the "flower girl." She looked absolutely beautiful, which brought tears to Ronnie's eyes. 

"Daddy?" He just shook his head before holding his arms out. She ran into them without hesitation, a wide grin on her face. "You look beautiful, Princess. All ready for Ricky and Chris' wedding, hm?" 

She giggled and nodded, which made us all smile softly. Gerard came into the bedroom where everybody was, and took one look at me before he smiled. "Don't be so nervous, and believe me, i know it's not easy. But answer me this, Ricky. Do you truly love Chris?"

"I do. I really fucking do." I answered without hesitation, and a small smile grew upon my face. Gerard grinned before turning to the others. "Out. I need to do his hair, and give him his suit." Gerard made a motion, almost shoving them out the room before he shut the door, locking it before sighing.

"Now, put this on." Gerard handed me a jet black tuxedo, and grinned a little, his red hair falling across his face as he smiled. "Okay...Can I call Chris?" Gerard rolled his eyes and handed me my phone, unlocking the door and walking out. 

I shut and locked the door before I speed dialled Chris. "Ricky!" His excited, yet anxious, voice rang out. "Chris..." I breathed, sliding down the door, sighing in relief. 

"Are you okay? Y-You're not having second thoughts are you?" He said quickly, stumbling over his words. "Of course I'm not, I love you. You're not changing your mind, are you?" Chris chuckled dryly into the phone. "I love you too. I'd never change my mind, there's no way I can live without you by my side."

"I miss you." I mumbled, swallowing a lump in my throat. Ronnie and Nikki had worked for hours to get my makeup to perfection, i wasn't going to ruin it. Yet. "I miss you too, Baby." I sighed, and remembered the last time I saw my love. 

Last week. 

We'd cuddled for hours, unable to let each other go, our own desire and love for each other made it impossible. But soon, I had to go to Ronnie's, as agreed by me and Chris. 

"I've got to go, I really wish I didn't have to. But I need to finish getting ready. I'll see you in a few hours, My Love." 

"I can't wait, I love you." I said softly before hanging up. I felt much better now I'd been reassured he wasn't having second thoughts, I couldn't bear it if he was. 

Gerard knocked on the door, and I opened it. In a few hours, I'd be in Chris' arms again. 

And I was counting down every single second.