Chapter 2: Good Morning

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I jolted awake to the sound of my alarm, lifting my head and pressing the snooze button so I wouldn't have to hear the annoying beeps every few seconds.

I roll onto my back and pull the covers up to my shoulders. Just thinking of getting out of bed gave me shivers.

I was dreading getting out of bed and having to go to school. School is where I feel the most lonely. Pretty ironic since I'm surrounded by people. People that ignore me.

I stretch my legs and yawn for a couple seconds. I flip the covers off of me and sit up quickly, surprising myself. Waking up for me is normally a challenge. It's like I had an angel on one shoulder, and the devil on the other. The angel tells me to get up, and the devil tells me 5 more minutes.

I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and yawn once more before standing up and grabbing my clothes that I set out the night before.
A white shirt with black sleeves that went down to my elbows, light blue jeans, underwear, a bra, and some socks. Not really in style.

Most people in my school wear big knitted scarves, uggs, lulu lemon tights, and TSC sweaters. Aaand the occasional plaid shirt. I'm not even exaggerating that my whole school looks the same, it's not surprising though.

Considering that the media has brainwashed all the girls into painting a picture of a 'beautiful girl' in their mind and their just attempting to recreate them.
After all, they only wear tights to show off their butt. Like, seriously-Who wears tights in the middle of winter? And no... for warmth is not the answer.

Wearing different clothes didn't really help with my Social-Anxiety, standing out and all...but my family is too poor to afford an $80 pair of leggings, let alone four! I'm pretty thankful for my mom though. She tries. She gets me tights from Walmart, and to be honest... I can't tell the difference besides a logo. Good enough for me.

All the money I've ever earned, has been saved, and donated to the guys when they needed help with something new. And if they didn't need help, I bought their merchandise.

And by the guys, I mean the youtubers that rescue me from reality. I wish I could just live in their lives. No awkwardness, being adored by a bunch of people, and getting to play video games for a living! I would just switch from youtuber to youtuber everyday, changing my personality and life regularly.

Sounds weird, but... that's me. Constantly wishing I was somebody else when it's so easy just to change myself. But even just blurting out a 'Hi' makes me feel like someone has a loaded gun to my temple. I break out in a cold sweat and get clammy, air suddenly becomes water and it becomes difficult to breathe as I think of what I would say next.

Changing isn't going to be as easy as defeating a bad guy in a cliché movie, it's more like defeating the good guy in a cliché movie. I won't be able to do it unless the writers of my life enable me to, as an unexpected twist for spectators to watch with wide eyes.

I go to the bathroom, undress, and get in the shower. I could already tell that this was going to be one of THOSE days. My eyelids felt heavy, and I still felt sleepy, even after splashing cold water on myself. Great.
I adjust the heat to hot and stand under the shower head, letting the warm water flow down my head. I close my eyes and think of who's videos I should watch this morning. Then I thought about meeting my heroes. How amazing that would be. Getting to see them in real life, hopefully not being awkward. Just thinking about Vanoss, Mini Ladd, Terroriser, Basically, Delirious, Nogla, And Wildcat made me feel so much better. They were so funny.

...I wish I could be like them. Making people laugh all the time. Normally I just sat quietly. If I had a youtube channel, it would definitely be the most boring one. I bet people would rather spend a week at their grandmas house with only a few channels on the t.v, than watch my videos. Talking is just something I'm not very good at I guess.

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