Memoirs of A Healer/Clinical Social Worker: Autobiography of Bruce Whealton

Section One: The Early Years, Immaturity & Shyness

I will start with the earliest years of my life because I mentioned that I was shy. The efforts I made to overcome shyness later in life would be very valuable in my choice to become a clinical social worker. I learned that psychology, as well as empathy, and social skills can be very powerful tools in helping others to heal.

I will mention some information about child abuse and the many forms of child abuse. This is also important in considering why I went into social work and why I wanted to be a psychotherapist. Social workers can intervene to help victims of child abuse. I learned that even if no agency investigates abuse/neglect that doesn't mean that a person's home life was healthy or good enough.

Those who grow up with abuse will be sensitive to the appearance of emotional neglect and abuse. If motivated by love and compassion, we want to help people to heal. We can relate.

Obviously, a wide range of factors go into choosing and discovering a career that is a good match, but I thought it would be helpful to start at the beginning of my life to show you what might have inspired me to make certain choices later in life.

I would later learn about the value of relationships, social support, compassion, empathy, and the needs that everyone has for validation.

Of course, abuse isn't just recognized when we are physically assaulted. As an adult, after I received an undergraduate degree and had a plan for my future, I first moved in with my parents and spent two years and about three months with them. In the following chapters of his section, I will describe the emotional and psychological abuse that I experienced at this time and how I coped – who was there to help me.

You will see that during this time when I was a young adult, I literally was made psychologically sick while living with my parents – this will be described in the chapters that follow. I had someone special during that time, someone named Celta, who comforted, consoled and nurtured me. Despite all the improvements I had made previously through my counseling, I had not realized what was missing until I found what I needed with Celta.

It's ironic that in a conversation with my sister in 2020, she said in an email that our parents were so worried about me and how they might find me when they got home... how they took me to the emergency room. She heard this from our parents because she had not been present at the time. So, she left out the fact that the reason I wasn't well was because of the toxic environment created by our parents.

Despite all the improvements that I made in college I had also needed to have someone see me as "special." I needed to believe that I could be the most important person in another person's life. I didn't know that was missing until Celta showed it to me. For all her "problems" she did this amazing and unbelievable important thing. She was a very small, girl, or woman. She had anorexia and was very much underweight.

Previously, I had friends who respected me. I had friends who listened to me. I had friends who validated my feelings. Actually, they validated some of my feelings. My desire for physical closeness was a desire that Celta fulfilled for me! Do you know that there is a syndrome called "failure to thrive" which demonstrates the human need for physical closeness? We don't just need a home, food, and clothing. We need closeness and nurturing. In extreme cases of "failure to thrive" certain creatures, including people, can die.

I will bring my insights as an adult, as a mental health professional to bear in understanding what was happening to me and those around me when I was so young. Then I will move on to my early adult years and how I was influenced by others, early life events, and how I influenced others or had an impact on the lives of others.