Dear Ms. Internet Lady,
I saw your photo on the internet, and thought it worth both our time to offer an unsolicited comment on your physical appearance with a brief, yet witty, "You're beautiful." Perhaps with a flourish, like a heart-eyed emoji or a single rose. Please forward any and all perfume-scented correspondence to "Mother." If she insists on reading my mail before I can, then I don't see why my name should be on the envelope.
If for some reason you feel my comments may have crossed some previously undisclosed line, please do remember that any discomfort is not only unintended, but merely your silly, wholly delusional perspective.
YOU ARE READING
A Complete Waste of TimeHumor
A Complete Waste of Time is a presentation of the not-entirely unerotic essays, rantings, ravings, and assorted sordid nonsense of "Amoral Crackpot" Steve Arviso. Not intended for human consumption. Void where prohibited.