Haikyuu Oneshots

SemiTen {Angst)

TW: self-harm/eating disorder/sensitive topics

DO NOT READ IF THESE TOPICS ARE AN ISSUE FOR YOU

Semi gently stroked the side of Tendou's face, tears threatening to spill as he tried to not notice how sunken in his pale cheeks were.

Tendou placed his cold frail hand over Semi's and tried to offer a comforting smile.
"Eita...I'm okay," he whispered.

'don't fucking lie to me!'

"Sure."
"I am, really," Tendou reassured, but his thin shivering figure, drooping bloodshot eyes and quivering voice proved otherwise.

Semi grit his teeth, trying to keep it together, "You look worse than when I last visited you Satori. Are you not eating at all?"
Tendou's smile dropped and he looked down, "I am."

Semi clenched his fists and squeezed his eyes shut, 'don't fucking lie to me Satori!'
he wanted to scream. He wanted Tendou to eat. He needed Tendou back home with him, not in this mental hospital. Tendou was supposed to be getting better here.

"Yo-you...you know what they call me in here? Eita?" Tendou asked through a trembling voice.
"What?"
"they-" he forced a chuckle, "they call me a m-monster...ain't that funny? It's 'cos of my looks...c-can't blame 'em though."

Rage surged through Semi, "Don't listen to them Satori."
"But Eita...it's true...I mean look at me."
"I am...you're beautiful and I love you."

Tendou pulled his hand away from Semi's and ran a hand through his hair. It was thin and falling out, hanging around his face, rather than gelled up.

"Why?"
"Huh?" Semi asked confused.
"Why? There's nothing left of me Eita...what's there to love?" Tendou's tired red eyes met Semi's brown, trying to find answers.

Semi loved Tendou. He never stopped and he doesn't plan on doing so in the future. Tendou has always been thin, not having much of an appetite. But the past two years have been hard. When Semi realised Tendou wasn't eating and when he did, he threw it up, he was concerned. Every step of the way, Semi has been doing his best to support his boyfriend.

But six months ago, when he found Tendou self-harming, even though it was a hard decision, he knew the best thing was to get Tendou professional help. 

Semi would visit three times a week, he wished for more but that was the maximum time he was allowed to. He tried to not notice how Tendou was withering away as time passed. 

"Satori, I love you so fucking much and it hurts...it hurts to see you like this. It hurts to not have you with me. It hurts that you're not trying anymore," Semi forced out, his throat closing up.

"I am trying-"
"You're not. I can tell. You've given up."

Tendou avoided eye contact. He knew it was true. At first, he tried to hard to get better...to ignore the voices in his head. But...it came to the point where every ounce of motivation he had...was gone. 

"Excuse me, I'd like to go back to my room," Tendou said to the passing guard.
"Satori wait!"
"Bye Semisemi,"

.

.

.

Semi sat in his bed that night, head between his knees, tears running down his cheeks. Normally when Semi was having a panic attack, he would be in Tendou's arms. Tendou would rub his back and whisper reassuring things in his ear. 

But the new normal was being alone. 

.

.

.

Tendou stared at the blank white wall of his room. He hated it. It was so lifeless...just like everything in this place. 

He jiggled his arm, and out fell a knife he stole from the cafeteria from his sleeve. Rolling up his sleeves going to press the sharp blade against his wrist, there was a knock on the door. Quickly he rolled his sleeves back up and hid the knife.

In walked was a nurse, "Tendou Satori, there is a phone call for you from a Semi Eita."
"I don't want to talk to him," Tendou grumbled.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."

She left and a few minuted passed before she came back. 
"He left a voicemail, would you like to listen to it?"

He stared blatantly at the phone before slowly nodding. The nurse handed him the phone before walking out.

"I'll be outside the door, call for me when you're done," she said before closing the door. 

Tendou stared down at the phone before pressing 1 to let the voicemail play.

He first heard heavy breathing and sobbing then gasps for air. He immediately knew Semi was having a panic attack while he made the call and it pained him that he wasn't there.  

"S-Satori..I-I love you so fucking much. I hope you know that...I...I know that look that you gave me when you were leaving...I know what you're going to do and I'm fucking begging you Satori. Don't do it! Don't leave me! Please...don't hurt yourself-" he heard Semi sob.

He clenched his fists and screamed. 

The nurse rushed in and took the phone off him.
"Tendou, are you alright?"
"Leave me alone!"

Tendou curled up into a ball and covered himself in his blanket before sobbing into his pillow.

The nurse looked at him with uncertainty before finally leaving. 

He couldn't do it. He loved Semi way too fucking much, he wanted nothing more than to cuddle with him again every night, console him through the panic attacks, kiss him. 

.

.

.

Headcanon:

So since Semi is a band musician in the time skip, I headcanon that he took Tendou's little song and made it into a full heartbreak song and made it a full heartbreak song. Then he performed it and Tendou watches the concert with tears in his eyes and pure joy. 

And of course, after the concert, the two share a box of chocolates made specially by Tendou.