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I'm trying to keep myself alive

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i heard you say you love me, that's the part i can't forget. ( Listen to suicide lyrics or Breath me- sia)

I've gotten ALOT of comments on my Dan story, telling me " your spelling isn't great" Well no shit sherlock, you tell how it's like too write on a phone that gives you autocorrect, or that your fingers are fucking fat and you can't type normally because your fingers are fucking giant. Do you even understand, that when i wrote the Dan story, i just turned 12, i'm turning 13 in a month, i'm a teenager now, repsect that miss spelling a word or sentence, ISN'T THE END OF THE WORLD. It's a misstake. IF YOU DON'T MAKE MISSTAKE HOW DO YOU LIVE? Just think before you type, because i got bullied for my spelling and my fingers, yep fingers. Multiply 20 kids times 4 family members.  20x4= 80.  Try to understand that. Please i know i'm not the best fucking speller or anything. I'm NOT perfect, i'm not.

( And no this is not a chapter, so you don't have to read this if you're not interseted.)

I'm practually just a 13 year old , on a website writting storys, through out the chapters in most of my fanfictions, one of my characters ( mostly me) Has a break down, which means it sorta talks about Anorexia or cutting, right? Well i'm basing it off my real life problems. And btw, i know people don't say "OMG" or "WTF" I know that, it's a joke, leave it alone. Theres also alot of mentions of suicide also, little did you know or most of you know. I'm suicidal. It's not fun having to write suicide notes everday than hiding them in your cloest, i have about 50. Each one of them, and i'm being serious here. Each one of them says this at the end " I can't understand this anymore, i can't take all the presure, it's too much, why. Why? Why do people critize me because my fingers are fucking skinny. That i have acne, is it really that much of deal to them? Do they have nothing else better too do than go find things to say about someone? Do they know, every word they say, i take to heart? Obviously not." Or i have this page, well 4 pages of saying " Don't eat don't eat don't eat don't eat Save me. Don't eat" I write these daily, daily basis. I'm not emo, or fake. I'm just me. A girl on the interwebs. It's a social media. Welcome to the inertnet. Have fun being judge for EVERYTHING single thing you do. I know it seems fake, and it's not. How? Because it's happened to me, and still is. Suicide/cutting/straving/purging, is NO answer, if you need someone KIK me or message me on here, i'm willing to listen... Kik: Ernie6. I'm always here for you, even though it doesn't seem like it, I am.

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