John Murphy (one shots)

Forced Apology

A/N: I'm sorry this one is so short but I promise to write some smut soon. Maybe next chapter. Anyway, Caris is in Sanctum with John and they have an argument 😱

⚠️ WARNINGS ⚠️: no smut, swearing, it's actually quite a mild part lol.

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"Sweetheart, wake up."

I jolt upward, hands gripping whatever I can which happens to be the sheets on my newest bed. Someone's hand is already touching mine, attempting to calm me down. I turn to look and find John there, trying to give me a smile. I know he hates waking me up when it's always like this. My night terrors have gotten worse. Though I don't scream anymore, I know he knows they're still terrible.

"Good morning," I say, smiling and pulling myself out of bed.

As I start to dress, I hear him on the opposite side. When I'm fully clothed, I turn around to find him staring at me. I take a deep breath, walking around the bed to stand in front of him. He looks down at me unsmiling so I try to make myself smile softly at him. I hesitantly reach my hand up to touch his cheek, running my thumb over his skin.

"I'm alright-"

"You're not alright," he protests, shaking his head hard. His hand reaches up to hold my wrist. "You are never alright. I don't want you feeling this way anymore-"

"What do you want me to say, John?" I wonder, pulling my hand from his grip and taking a few steps back. "They're not just going to go away because you want them to."

"What can I do?" he's begging, stepping toward me and shaking his head again.

"Nothing, Murphy. You can't do jack shit to make this better for me. I'm suffering and you have to get used to it," I say in anger before turning to leave the room.

Before I can, a hand is grasping my arm hard. I spin around quickly, slapping him sharply. The clapping sound echoes throughout the space. He releases me, eyes looking up into mine in confusion. I don't give an explanation, opening the door and storming outside. I tear down the stairs, ignoring the people wishing me good morning as I walk into the tavern. Instead of answering them, I go directly out the door.

To waste time, I walk around the boundaries of Sanctum. It's quite peaceful, to be honest. I don't have thoughts running through my head like they usually do when I'm strolling through a field of pink flowers. I don't have any thoughts at that. I focus my attention on the petals and the sky and the trees and the clouds.

I come back to the tavern in a much better mood than when I left. My anger almost returns as I see John sipping from a cup while sitting at a table with Bellamy. I put a pin in my feelings, going over to sit on the opposite side next to Bellamy. John straightens his posture when he sees me, eyes widening slightly. He must think he's in trouble or something.

"You look in a better mood than this morning," Bellamy notices, drinking from his own cup.

"Yeah? Well, I had fair reason to be mad," I say, jaw clenching unconsciously.

"I'm not denying that," Bellamy scoffs, looking across the table at John. "You fucked up, you know that, right?"

He shrugs, glancing down at his mug. "I was trying to help."