You woke up, and the sun from the open window was hitting your face. You squinted and sat up, remembering the events of last night. The thought of you leaving Harry alone in the Astronomy Tower makes you feel horrible. You heard the toilets flush and looked up to find Tammy was finishing up her shower.
“Hey.” you said quietly. She seemed shocked that you even spoke to her.
“Morning.” she said. She began drying her hair with her towel. You realized you don’t even know the last time you had a conversation with her. You started to feel so many emotions flowing through you, thinking about the friends you have lost over the last couple months. Tears welled up in your eye, and you sniffled, trying to blink them back.
“Andy?” Tammy asked, suddenly realizing what was happening. She had a genuine look of concern, and that just made you cry more. She climbed on your bed and pulled you into her arms, hugging you close.
“T-Tammy… I’ve r-r-ruined everyth-th-thing!” you cried. She shushed you.
“What’s wrong?” she said, leaning back and looking at you.
“I’ve been seeing someone…” you said quietly. Tammy’s mouth dropped open.
“It’s not easy to tell you… I haven’t told anyone. But last night I--” but you broke down and sobbed some more.
“Andy… Did you do it?” she asked quietly.
“No! Well… almost. I never thought I would be with someone for a long time after Draco. But Harry’s so sweet, and he was a good friend and it just turned into more so quickly and I--”
“Wait! Harry who? Harry Potter?!” Tammy asked, shocked. You only nodded. “Andy! Are you for real? How could you do that? Did you just go after the guy Draco hates the most?”
“No… It just happened. And… last night Harry and I were alone and we started to fool around…”
“But you stopped it.” Tammy said.
“Yes. But Tammy, I can’t stop thinking about him.”
“Harry?” she asked. But she knew from the look on your face that you meant Draco. “Sweetie… I know how you felt about Draco. Feel about him, I mean. And yes, maybe you are just trying to find a nice guy to help you cope. But the question you need to ask yourself is if you still love Draco.”
You knew the answer to that already. You nodded.
“You are too proud Andy. If you just told him, you would not have to go through this. What are you afraid of?”
“You know what I’m afraid of! That the same thing will happen as last time! He has Felicia. She won’t hesitate to spread her legs, and I can’t compete with that.” you said, hugging your legs closer to your body.
“Well…” Tammy began, but then she hesitated.
“What?” you asked.
“Well… if you love him so much. I mean, did you ever think about just… doing it?” she said, shifting her weight uncomfortably.
“Tammy!” you yelled, appalled.
“Yeah! I mean… don’t you want to?”
“Yes. I did. But I didn’t, because… to protect myself.” you argued, standing up.
“From what? From pregnancy and STDs, or from being hurt? From actually opening up to someone and giving everything to him?” she asked. You couldn’t even think right now.
“Tammy I have to get ready. For school.” you said quickly. Before you could make a break for the bathroom, she stood in front of you, grabbing your arms and holding you still.
“Andrea! Listen to me. You love Draco. So stop being afraid of it. You are the only girl he has ever been serious with. Why are u so afraid?!”
“What has anyone done to you to make you so--”
“TAMMY STOP!” you yelled.
“WHY!” Tammy screamed. You looked at her, with such intense anger, that she immediately shrunk backward.
“Get out.” you said quietly. She didn’t hesitate. She bolted from the room. You stood there, breathing heavily. Tammy has never stood up to you that way before. It was shocking, but more importantly, you had to admit that she was right. You didn’t want to get hurt by Draco. But… he never tried to hurt you. The way he hurt other girls. He really cared about you. It was all your fault. You never truly opened up to him, because you always thought it would end badly. You took every opportunity to accuse him of the worst. And in the process you pushed him away. As this realization occurred, you got up, still in your pajama shorts and a tanktop, and ran down to the common room. You ignored the eyes that followed you as you crossed to the staircase for the boys dormitories. You climbed up, your heart pounding at what you were about to do. Without knocking, you burst through the door. Draco was laying on his bed.
“Draco I’m so so sorry.” you stammered, running to his bed. Before he could get up you climbed on the bed and straddled him, kissing him forcefully. You broke away from him, still breathing heavily.
“Andy--?” Draco said, trying to sit up.
“Draco, I’m so sorry! I didn’t want to get hurt, but I see now that I never truly gave us a chance. I love you, Draco.” You said desperately.
“Andy--” he said slowly. You shook your head at his tone. You grabbed his hand and held it to your chest.
“Draco, I want to give myself to you. All of myself. I’m ready! Really.” you half cried. He just looked away from you. You took his face in your hand and turned it toward you gently, and he looked up into your eyes for the first time in months. You kissed him softly, and you felt him grow less tense.
“Andy…” he whispered. You smiled and lifted your shirt over your head, throwing it to the floor. His eyes lit up and he pulled you toward him, kissing you hungrily. His hands ran up your legs, over your butt, then up your stomach to your breast.
“I’ve wanted you for so long.” he said, his breathing heavy.
“You can have me forever, Draco.” you whispered, and began undoing his jeans. But he caught your hand. He shuddered, then rolled out from under you.
“I can’t do this.”
“What? Draco, I love you. I didn’t mean to hurt you, and I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.” you ran to him and tried to hug him, but he shook you off and turned around.
“We can’t because…”
“Why?! Draco I’m here! Right in front of you! You have me!” you pulled his arms around you and hugged him, tears forming in your eyes. You looked up to see Draco was upset.
“Because I’m getting married.” he said quietly.
“W-What?” your face fell, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. He took both of your hands, looking down at the floor in shame.
“My parents already have it planned. When I come back from break… Felicia and I will be married.”
“No… Tell them no, Draco.”
“I… I can’t.” He said. You tore your hands away from him, and grabbed your shirt from the floor. Not bothering to put it on, you ran out of the boys’ dorms. Whistling and cat calls followed you as you walked quickly through the common room, your shirt held against your chest.
“Andrea?!” Tammy yelled, sitting on the couch in the common room with the group of girls you used to be the leader of.
“FUCK!” you screamed, tears streaming down your face as you turned to the group of girls. They all gasped at your outburst. You just looked coldly at Tammy. “Great fucking advice Tammy!” They all just stared at you, but you didn’t care. You ran upstairs and slammed the door, never wanting to come out ever again. You began throwing your stuff haphazardly into your trunk. Tears streamed down your face, and your chest was tight with every breath you took.
"Andy please..." you heard. You spun around, and sparks flew from your wand as your eyes met Draco's.
"This is over. And I'm leaving." Your voice was cold. You weren't going to go through the pain any longer. Draco wasn't going to change.
"Please let me explain!"
"What?! Explain what? How you betrayed me? I don't need to hear that. I should have known you would do this to me. Why I was even crazy enough to--" You stopped. Your voice was shaking uncontrollably, and the lump in your throat was hurting. You didn't stop packing. If you did, you would never start again.
"To what?" Draco asked quietly. You didn't respond. You slammed the lid to your trunk shut and turned to face him. The tears were still there, but you wanted to control your voice long enough to say what you needed to. You wanted it to really effect him.
"To trust you."
You pulled the trunk behind you as you brushed past him in the doorway. He didn't chase you. Obviously what you said had worked.
How could I be so blind? Because I wanted to be.
You could answer that question quickly. You wanted him to change. You wanted him to be everything you needed. But he just wasn't. He was a poison, killing you slowly and painfully.
* * * *
You heard the sound of high heels clacking against the floor as you lay on the couch of the Slytherin common room. Felicia appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
"What did you do?" she asked.
"Absolutely nothing." you said, smiling.
"Don't give me that! Draco's up there depressed as hell! What did you do?!" she asked, coming to the couch and looking downward at you.
"What does it matter. It's done. He chose you."
"He did not. He would never. He was forced to pick me by his damn parents."
"Look, this is what you wanted remember?" you said angrily, sitting up. She stayed quiet. You looked out of the window to the moon. It must have been late. It was cold and you were about to go up to bed.
"I don't want it anymore. Not if it is going to be like this." she said, turning toward the girl's dorms. You grabbed her arm and threw her back into the wall, pinning her there.
"Now listen, you little slut," you whispered dangerously, feeling your heart pounding. "It's done. Next week your going to be married. And once that happens, Andy is mine."
"You're an asshole." she said quietly. You just smirked and let go of her.
"That is what I'm told."
"Goodnight Felicia. And I wish you and Malfoy all the best."
* * * *
You woke up the next morning, wishing you could stay in bed forever.
"What did I do?" you asked yourself.
"Andrea? You're up!" Kasey squealed. You just squeezed your eyes shut tighter.
"Yes. I am unfortunately." you mumbled into your pillow.
"What's wrong?" she asked. You turned over and saw her standing at the end of your bed.
"Oh you know, just opened my heart up and then got it stomped on and dragged through the mud." you said, turning back over.
"Tammy is in a panic. She thinks you are going to kill her." Kasey said, twirling a strand of her hair absentmindedly. This kind of gossip made Kasey giddy with joy, and you could tell she was loving how miserable you were.
"I thought about it. But it wasn't really her fault." you sighed. You buried your head back in bed and held your breath, wondering if you could actually hold it long enough that you will kill all the brain cells that retain memories of this year.
"Are you... leaving?" Kasey asked. You looked up to see her standing over your trunk, covered in a pile of clothes and toiletries.
"Oh. Yeah. I don't think its worth staying. I'm better off going home and working on my dancing..." Seeing the trunk reminded you that you wanted to leave early. You had already owled your mother. You had made a deal with her that if there was an emergency, she would help you out no questions asked. Of course you know that meant there will be questions later... but you will just ignore her.
"Oh well... I'll miss you?" she said uncomfortably. You just nodded, and began organizing the contents of your trunk a little better. By the time you had finished and packed up everything, it was 11: 45 a.m. Not exactly as early as you hoped. People would see you walking through the common room with your things.
You saw Tammy come in the room, and saw the look of fear on her face. You just smiled softly. She relaxed instantly and came to pull you into a hug. This triggered your tears, and you pulled away quickly and wiped your eyes.
“Don’t leave Andy.”
“I have to.”
“No you don’t!” she said sternly. You sat on your pile of clothes and looked up at her helplessly. “A year ago, Andrea Rose would never let a boy do this to her! Where did Andrea, the Queen Bee of Slytherin go? Tough, strong, and independent Andy!”
You didn’t respond. You wish that you knew where that Andy was. You could really use her right now. Tammy did not take your silence for an answer. She took your shoulders and shook you.
“Snap out of it! You cannot leave. Running away from everything will just make it worse. You have people by your side. I will always be a good friend to you, and I will help your through this. And what about the good guy in your life? You are just going to leave Harry with no explanation. Is that all he means to you?” she asked.
Tammy sat on your bed, and sighed exasperatedly. “Andy, you need to focus on the good things right now. Otherwise you will be miserable. Would you rather be at home sulking, or be with your friends who can help you?”
“I know… you are right. But seeing him everyday…” you shook your head.
“You are the strongest person I know Andy.” she whispered. You almost burst into tears, but you just took a deep breath and stood up. Slowly, you picked through your clothes in your trunk.
“Well, you should get down there to catch breakfast before lessons start…”
Tammy nodded and left, her eyes shining with tears as well. You found your clean robes underneath the dirty ones you just threw in and grabbed your toiletry bag. Today was going to be harder than any other day of your life. But you wouldn’t let yourself run away and hurt the people who actually do care about you.
YOU ARE READING
A Serpent and His Rose (A Draco Malfoy Story)Fanfiction
Not everything is as it appears at Hogwarts this year. Andrea Rose is the reigning Princess of Slytherin, and it is no surprise that she has a long and sordid history with the infamous Draco Malfoy. After years of resistance, Andrea finds herself fa...