she's just a kid || the 100

44 || rain

"WILL YOU, TALIA KOM SKAIKRU, ASCEND AND BECOME THE COMMANDER OF THE THIRTEEN CLANS?" 

I didn't know what to do. There were so many pros and cons to weigh. The clans wouldn't be at war but what if they didn't accept a Skaikru Commander? Azgeda would surely not like it since I would be taking the throne from Roan. What would Bellamy think of it? I needed to... consult with someone about it first. Maybe Indra. Or even Octavia.

"Can I think about it?" I asked.

Gaia looked a little bit disappointed but nodded. "May I have the flame? After all, until your reign has begun officially, the flame should stay with the Fleimkepa." 

That was a fair point. I nodded, bowing my head. Gaia said the passphrase and took the flame out, which hurt again.

When Roan found out the flame wasn't in my head, he deemed it as 'stolen'. Octavia and Indra found out that Gaia 'stole' it. It turns out, Gaia is actually Indra's daughter. Octavia told Roan the flame was destroyed and didn't tell him it was Gaia who stole it either.

They had a pretend flame that they destroyed to make people think the real flame was gone.

"O, Indra, I need to talk to you," I said as I walked up to the two eating their supper. I sat down beside them around the small fire they had made.

"What about?" Octavia asked as she swallowed a piece of meat.

"Gaia offered to help me with the Ascension Ceremony," I explained. Octavia's eyes widened and Indra had stopped chewing.

"Always trying to cause trouble with her faith mumbo-jumbo," Indra muttered as she put her plate down.

"And you want to become the Commander," Octavia assumed. I nodded.

"With everyone thinking the flame is destroyed, Roan's place at the throne is vulnewuh... vulnerable. People will try to challenge him for his power. It could cause a war which we don't have time for. If we had a commander, it would help keep the peace between the clans." I persuaded, struggling a little bit to pronounce 'vulnerable'. 

"And why are you coming to us?" Octavia asked.

"Because I don't know what to do. I need your opinion," I explained. I looked to Indra, who kept quiet but spoke up when she noticed my gaze.

"I think it's a smart idea," Indra spoke up. "But, our mission is to keep Roan in command until your people can find a solution to save us all. It's too much of a risk to introduce a Skaikru Commander at a time like this. We don't know how the clans will react."

"Indra, Tahlia's basically Trikru," Octavia reasoned. "Roan's leadership isn't guaranteed right now. The clans need a commander to lead them. A Nightblood Commander." So, Octavia thought me becoming Heda was a good idea. Indra did not.

"Indra-" I started but she cut me off.

"You wanted my opinion. There it is. It's too much of a risk right now."

I nodded and said goodnight to them both before going back to my room in the tower and going to bed. 

When the flame was in my head, the past commanders would come to me and talk to me, even Lexa. They would talk to me and give me advice. But now that the Flame wasn't in my head, I was plagued with the familiar nightmares I used to get. 

Only now, they were worse.

My nightmares were always similar. Whether it was watching another version of myself kill my loved ones, or seeing the faces of those I've actually killed, and listening to them call me a murderer.