Saving both ways

1

I thought we were end game, he made me feel we were endgame. But I guess everyone knew about the plays before I did because I was left stranded with nothing and no-one to hold on to and no one to blame but myself.

Noah, Noah Mekal. With brows creased; thinking, palms sweaty and eyes showing nothing but nervousness asked me to be his. But that was a long time ago, more like middle school and that was it, it was official the most talked about people for weeks. Noah and Zemira, Mira and Noah. 

But no one was saying that now or I hoped no one was. We broke up. after not months but years we were Juniors for crying out loud. at least this was better now I knew his intentions and wouldn't have to plan my entire college life around him, I was free, I could do what ever i wanted.

*Cue the heartbroken playlist*

Day 1. Here I was crouched in a corner, forcing myself to cry not being able to form  any words and having the hardest time imaginable. I was gasping it was like I couldn't breath, like the one thing that had been keeping me afloat this whole time from everything ,was gone and I was drowning, I felt cold, empty and eventually I was numb. It ached to think, to breath, to even feel.

Day 2. now I was lying on the floor like a person who had just been murdered, soft, steady streams of saltiness rolled down my face, it still hurt. Bad.

Day 3. I was on my bed now, at some point during the night I must have made it here. I looked around and saw all the stuff he ever gave me and chucked it unto the floor, all of a sudden I had this weird volt of energy and anger and it was all triggered at getting rid of his hold on me. Some broke, others just bounced right back and the clothes they just lay heaped on the floor. I rolled my eyes at the things and suddenly felt drained and just flopped on the floor letting sleep consume me.

Day 4. I just stared at the things infront of me and  thought about everything Noah and I had been through. I picked up his favorite hoodie and inhaled deeply, it smelt like buttery Cinema popcorn and the beach. I never really liked the smell or those things but it always made me feel at home, safe. I wore it a slow tear rolled down my face.

I knew I wasn't better but at least I wasn't a weeping mess when my mum came back from her trip, I couldn't say the same thing about my room though. I was lying upside down on my bed and my whole room was filled with my dark academia* royal core playlist.

She was standing in the door way looking at the room and yelling my name, but at the time I didn't hear a thing, I was in my own little world floating on the clouds having an epic waltz with a mysterious prince who made the entire world fade away but my waltz ended when the music came to an end, I opened my eyes and saw my mother.

"Zemira Elara Martin can you please explain the image before me", she had a hand on her hip, and was taping her foot with an ' you better answer me young lady look' on her face. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, just to reduce the pain of saying it,

In an emotionless, dead, yet hoarse voice, "Umm...Noah,(swallows) he uh, he"

she suddenly had a scared look on her face, "He didn't get you pregnant did he"

I was taken back, pregnancy Noah and I no, he could dream.

"No mum, he..um..he broke up with me, there I said it, happy universe". The room was dead silent, she put my music back on and sat on the bed beside me and gave me a hug whiles I silently cried unto her clothes, now I feel bad I'm ruining my mums favorite work blazer and that made me cry even more.