tangled up in blue

26

AN- smut warning, mention of the past sexual assault attempt

The night after our agreement I'd been lying awake like usual, except this time it wasn't because of my nightmares. I kept going over the past few days in my head. Colton, the lake, realising my sexuality, and becoming the eldest Jackson's fuck buddy. Except, we wouldn't be doing any fucking. Even though I knew I liked boys now, I wanted to try it with someone I loved. Jace of all people would not be taking my ass virginity. But it was strange that out of everyone in my life, the first person I'd come out to was him, even though he also happened to be the person who's reaction I had been most anxious for. He might have been my least favourite individual on planet Earth, but his cool, non-homophobic response to my blurted confession had taken a million weights off my shoulders. I felt at ease that he still wanted to get off with me despite knowing I was gay. I couldn't believe that a week ago I was telling myself I was completely straight, and now I was simultaneously getting my dick sucked by my enemy whilst trying to cover up my attraction to men from everyone I know. Time flies when you're having fun.

My mental musing came to a halt when at 3am, someone stumbled through the bathroom door by my bed. I barely had time to react before a giant shape casually landed on top of me. "Jace," I wheezed under his weight. "What are you- get off of me." I shoved him and he rolled to the side, allowing me to breathe. I was about to kick him out before I realised he'd already passed out and was buried in my sheets. "Great," I grumbled. When I told him I wasn't going to sleep with him, I probably should have mentioned that meant non-sexually too. But deep down, I didn't mind it when he wrapped his arm around my middle and pulled me flush to his body. The only time I'd slept properly in the past few months was beside him.

He carried on like that for several days, wordlessly claiming my bed as his own. The only problem was that in the mornings he was impossible to wake up, and seeing as Lee liked to barge into my room bright and early like a human alarm clock, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "Jackson," I whispered, lightly slapping his cheek. I groaned as he tightened his steel grip around my body. "Get up, you heavy idiot." He only snuggled closer in his sleep, so I gave into my humiliating last resort. I twisted so that I could hover slightly over his face, and then without daring to take a breath, I pressed our lips together. The kiss was timid, but firm enough that he could notice it. After his body didn't respond, I gave up and pulled away with a huff of annoyance, but before I could continue trying to pry his arm from my waist, a hand grabbed me by the back of my head and tugged it down again. Jace's lips were on mine before I could escape, but I didn't complain. I melted into his open mouth, instantly forgetting that I was supposed to be pissed at him. I brought a hand up to his jaw to cup his face, and he ran his fingers through the ends of my hair.

"Well," he murmured as I came to my senses and pulled away. "Good morning to you too."

"Who said it's good?" I said, glaring from behind my blush.

"Hey," he continued, ignoring me. "What happened to the no kissing rule?" I'd texted him the night I came out that we couldn't just casually kiss if we weren't, y'know, doing sexual stuff. That way, it was less intimate. I hadn't exactly planned on liking men, but then Jace had to come along and mess up my head. Both my big one, and my small one. Though, Jace wasn't responsible for me realizing that I liked boys. He had just happened to suck my dick around the time that I figured out I was gay. It was a sad and twisted coincidence, and I was positive that the real reason I'd accepted the truth was Enzo hitting on me. He was hot, and sweet, and actually treated me well, unlike the asshole that had terrorized me since childhood. Not that there was any reason to compare the two to begin with. There was nothing emotional between Jace and I except a whole lot of disdain. And blowjobs, but that was strictly business.