Farewell (Karuizawa Kei)

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(Please read "Farewell (Ayanokoji Kiyotaka) before reading this to enjoy it more!!)


I called out to him but he didn't turn back.

I knew that he had definitely heard me but he kept walking towards the fence.

I knew that this was bound to happen.

At the end of the Second Year he had told me that he won't be able to meet me after these three years. He had told me about his past a little and I understood that it was inevitable. I knew that he would definitely leave me after these three years.

From the day, he told me I had started preparing myself mentally. 

I spared no effort in spending the maximum amount of time possible with him, all the while preparing for the day he would leave me.

But, it wasn't enough.

That mental preparation wasn't near enough to subside the pain in my heart.

All that mental preparation that I had done for a whole year amounted to nothing in comparison to the pain I'm feeling now.

Why?! Why did he have to come into my life only to go away?!

He saved me. He saved me from those shackles of past that were chaining me down. He changed me from a parasite who clung to a host to someone who was no longer a parasite, to someone who could hold her head high and enjoy my life without restraints.

Kiyotaka was the one who saved me and who changed me.

 A certain memory flashed.

It was the first time when he had held me in his powerful arms.

At that time, I had questioned myself that will our path continue forever?

If I had to answer that question now, the answer would definitely be a 'No'.

But if you asked me what I wanted, the answer would be obvious.

"I wanted that path to continue forever!"

He was outside the school area by now, so he couldn't possibly hear me. Even if he had heard, I doubt he would react in any way.

He was about to go inside the car.

I put some more force into my hands but it wasn't near enough to shake off the two guards who were holding me. 

While watching him leave, I thought to myself.

Kiyotaka, you are the worst! I had lived through hellish bullyings. But the pain I'm feeling now is far more greater than those bullyings that I was subjected to! You don't know that, Kiyotaka! You are giving me pain and making me suffer far more than what those bullies had done!

But I also knew that it wasn't his fault.

But, but still!

Just when he was about to get inside the car, he stopped and turned around.

I met his gaze.

".....Thank you, Kei," was what his eyes were trying to convey.

We were already at the stage where we didn't require words to communicate.

Just mere eye contact was enough to tell what the other was thinking.

Then, he smiled. 

He smiled for the first time. It was the first time he had shown any kind of expression.

That expression was of a smile. I should have been happy, right?

But, I wonder why.

I wonder why his smile seemed so painful to me. His smile just fueled the throbbing pain in my heart.

More tears flooded out of my eyes.

With that, he went inside and a man in a black suit closed the door.

Soon after the car started moving.

I knew what he might be thinking as of now.

He might be hoping that I would move on. I would find someone whom I loved and who loved me equally. He might be thinking that I would find someone better than him. I would make a happy family and live a happy life.

That's just selfish of him!

How could he determine how I live my life?!

Nobody gave him the right to say me how I should live my life?!!

And let me make one thing clear, that I would never ever find someone better than you, Kiyotaka!

Because for me you are the best! You are the only one for me!!

I know that our relationship didn't have a good start. It was the sort of relationship between a user and the one being used. It was a distorted relationship. 

But that thing was what kept us together. 

Even though we started in the most unexpected way possible, I loved you!

I still love you!!

There will be no better man for me than you!!!


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