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Pen Your Pride

Chapter 18: Stuffy Air

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"Okay class," Professor Hodgins begin to dismiss us. I am sitting in the middle section and am chewing on the end of my pencil. "I have been behind on grading and finally finished grading all your essays you were suppose to write about two weeks ago. I am going to call a few names I would like to speak to, the rest of you could leave. Maira, Connor, Pedro, Madison, and Mia."

   I groan in annoyance and take my time to collect all my stuff. I walk up to the professors desk where all the other students are that he called. A couple of them share the same annoyed expression as me. I really just want to go home and eat.

   "Okay, I want to talk to you each individually. So, who would like to go first?" he asks and we all stay silent. "Okay then," he mutters, "Pedro, you're up."

   The two of them go into his office as the rest of us silently wait. None of us speak and I am honestly grateful for that. I dont want to have to pretend I like them and talk over something irrelevant with them. If I had a choice I wouldn't even be here.

   A couple of minutes later, Pedro walks out. He tells me that I'm next and I sigh before making my way into his office. Professor Hodgins is staring down at some papers and doesn't acknowledge my presence. I clear my throat and he looks up at me but doesn't say anything.

   "Sit," he says a few minutes later, still not looking up at me. I sit in one of the two chairs in front of his desk.

   "You're majoring in Accounting, minoring in psychology and you are from America, correct?"

   "Yes," I answer him.

   "This essay is really well written," he praises my work. "When you wrote, 'Emotion is the factor in life that controls everything. It controls what you say, your actions, the decisions you make, and every thought you think. So, when you're angry, anxious, or dreprssed it's as if that shines through everything. All because of those emotions you could do and say negative things, so when are you going make that change in your life that is going to save you?' what did you mean?"

   "I wrote this as if I was talking to the person who makes me feel, like you asked for. I was basically saying that just because she is going through something that seems impossible to get out of, it's all a state of mind and emotion."

   "Basically, if you really wanted to change and be happy you should have done something about it?" he says and I just nod hoping he will dismiss me soon.

    "What about when you wrote, 'Sleepless nights, wet tissues, and never ending nightmares, yet you couldn't be bothered'?"

   "I was implying that that person simply didn't care," I shrug.

   "Right, and when you wrote, 'you never listened, you never watched out, you just stayed locked in your own head acting as if life was perfect. You ignored the screams of pain, the acts of violence, so you could live with yourself. Well how about now, knowing I can't look you in the eyes with out a wave disgust washing over me?' you were implying that she didn't try hard enough and it made you hate her?"

   "Actually, no that's not what I was implying," I fiddle with my fingers.

   "Then what did you mean?" he asks, interested.

   "Look it's kind of personal," I mumble.

   "If you could write about it and turn it in, you could tell me what you meant."

   "Fine," I sigh, just wanting to leave. "The disgust I felt wasn't for her, but for myself." He studies me for a minutes or two before nodding.

   "Okay, you may leave." he dismisses me. "Tell Mia to come in next."

   I walk out without saying anything then tell Mia that he wants her. I decide to stop at Starbucks on the way home and get a mocha frappachino. When I finally get home I lie down on the couch just staring at the ceiling.

   I feel so stressed and anxouis and I have no clue why. I have always been like this though. I just randomly get depressed ever since I was a kid. Maybe because of everything that has happened and I just want it to go away.   

   "I need you to come with me tonight," Kayla walks in the living room and sits by my feet.

   "I'm not feeling all too well," I tell her.

   "Please?," she begs. "I seriously need you to help me keep my nerves down.

   "Fine," I sigh, annoyed. "Where are we going?"

  "A restaurant. So go get dressed, we are leaving in an hour," she hugs me and gets up to get ready.

   "Great," I mutter to myself before going to take a shower.

....

   "I thought you said we were going to a restuant?" I whisper harshly into Kayla's ear.

   "Okay, so I lied," she shrugs as we walk in the dark towards some sketchy looks warehouse.

   "Why the hell did you lie!?" I yell.

   "Shhh," she hushes me. "And I knew you wouldn't have came if I told you the truth."

   "Well what is the truth?" I stop right in front of the doors.

   "Well um Liam invited me to a party that Zayn is throwing and asked me to ask you to come."

   "Seriously!" I scoff.

   "Come on, just try to have fun," she walks in and I follow her.

   It's dark and there are people dancing all over. There are people drinking, smoking, sniffing illegal substances, and popping pills everywhere. It is hot and the air is stale and stuffy. No one else seems to care though.

   "I think they are over here," she grabs my hand.

   "Kayla!" Liam smiles when he sees her. She lets go of me and rushes towards him.

   "I see you came," a low voice says. I turn around and I am faced with Zayn.

   "Yeah, I didn't really know I was coming here."

   "But your still here," he looks me up and down. I fold my arms and clear ny throat, uncomfortable. He looks back up with an attractive smirk that I wish I could slap off.

   "That I am," I nod.

   "Dance with me." he says completely throwing me off.

   "Zayn I-I" I stumble with my words.

   "I wasn't asking," he takes my hand and pulls me into the crowd of dancing bodies.

   He grips my hips as I slowly start to sway them to the beat. I awkwardly rest my hands on his shoulders. He stares into my eyes as his body moves with mine. His eyes are so gorgeous. They're the perfect shade of brown. I don't want to admit it, but I feel lucky that someone as attracting as Zayn is, likes me.

   He turns me around and pulls me close to him. I grind on him as the music becomes faster. I never in my life thought I would be dancing with someone like this. Zayn begins nibbling on my neck and I let out a loud moan. I feel him smirk against my skin as he sucks harder. I'll surely have a few hickeys later.

   Zayn turns me around again and connects his lips to mine. My hand tangles itself in his hair while his tongue slips in my mouth. I push myself closer to him wanting to feel him. He grips my waist and pulls his head away, causing me to groan.

   "Let's go back to my place?" he breathes and I shock him and myself when I agree.

  
   ~~~
Sorry that this is so short!

Into The Darkness (Zayn Malik)Read this story for FREE!