I will give compliments to where it’s due as well as critiques. I don't know whether you plan to edit this chapter you posted based on my advice and critique or whether you are continuing to the following chapter and then go back to edit the previous chapter later. First impressions are HUGE! Vocabulary impressed me, grammar and punctuation did not, and story lacked a backbone. I hope to hear or read your response from my critique and can't wait to see how you use it. ~LoVe LeXi :D
Hello my fans and darlings, Nico Lovers, Nico Cravers, Nico Dreamers,and Fans of The Percy Jackson Series! I would like to inform everyone that How did I fall for Nico di Angelo was based off of information from Percy Jackson and the Olympians up to book 5. I have read none of his other works because that is what my story is based on and I know things and references are somewhat outdated. I ask that you please bypass them and enjoy my fanfic based off from that time frame thanks! Love you all. Also if I don't respond to you within the next few days, weeks, possibly months I am sorry please don't take offense I'm busy with college but I will try to respond as soon as I can. *******IMPORTANT******* TO THOSE WHO WOULD LIKE ME TO READ THERE BOOKS BE WARNED I AM TO READ THEM NOT AS FAN BUT AS AUTHOR TO AUTHOR. I WILL GIVE YOU MY OPINON, RESPONSE, CRITQUE, AND ADVICE BEFORE I WILL TELL YOU I LOVE YOUR STORY. IF YOU WOULD NOT LIKE THESE THEN PLEASE DON'T ASK ME TO READ YOUR STORY... I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU!! WRITING GOALS!!!!!!! Have 1 fan [x] Have 50 fans [x] Have 100 fans [x] Have 200 fans [x] Have 500 fans [ ] Have a #1 fan [x] Have 200 votes [x] Have 500 votes [x] Have 1000 votes [x] Have 5000 votes [ ] PLEASE HELP ME REACH MY GOALS AND GOALS TO COME!!! THANK YOU!! Some of my favorite bands are Three Days Grace, Flyleaf, Skillet, POD, Paramore, Trapt, ect. Don't know who they are? Well go look them up! ________________- _ _______________/__l /_l _____________/____v__l ____________/________l ___________/_/________\ ___________V_________\ ___________/_________\ __________/_____The___\ _________/_____Lone___\ _________/_____Wolf____\ ________/____________/ _______/______l____l_l ______/_______\____\l_ _____/____---- __\____l ____/__/______\_\ ___i ____l__/_______)_\___l ___/___________/_\___\ __/\__________/___\___\ _l _____ _______)__\ ___) _\________\
Joined:4 years ago
Description: Leah is an average girl living in New York with a tough life. She watched her mom, dad, and sister die in front of her own eyes; not from a mugger or from a gunshot, they were killed by a Minotaur . Leah has lived eight years with her adoptive mothe...
Other Works by xXannabethXx.
Books with Secrets (On Hold until further notice)
Sequal to How did I fall for Nico di Angelo?
what are you? what am i? does it really make a difference? (ON HOLD)
short random story i wrote in 7th grade
You use nice vocabulary however the grammatical errors and lack of correct punctuation in your story are at an all time high. Love the name Lucien by the way!) Not to be harsh or anything but the lack of correct punctuation and grammatical errors really take away from the story it's quite distracting actually. If I may suggest after you write a paragraph copy & paste it on Google translate and listen to how it read out loud helps a lot for me! I understand this may have been rushed and I have no idea where this has been written (Microsoft Word is an excellent tool if it’s available to you if not I understand too. I wrote a few of my chapters on my cell phone and on my email. You introduce a lot of names in the intro and it really threw me off having to remember, imagine, and give a meaning to each character mentioned. The story is also rather vague, you mention they're at some kind of camp (or a concentration camp sounds like) but gives little to no background whatsoever. Your intro never mentioned how and why they're there. A simple thought or someone saying or commenting on the "incident" I suppose happened in order for them to get there. Not quite sure how to explain it but, I feel kind of lots asking questions such as "How old are these kids? What’s going on exactly that makes them want to fight besides the obvious dictatorship? Why are these kids here? How did these kids get in this situation?" With all these questions roaming in my head before reading anything else you may post, it gives me that feeling of "why am I reading this, I don't understand what this is about besides the fact the kids want to escape a concentration camp that I have no idea how they got there or why they’re there. Please understand that this is just my harsh critique author side coming out, I don't mean to sound like a bitch, offend you in anyway shape or form, or discourage you from writing. I am here to help you and give you my critique based on what you asked.
Clarrise has been through a lot in the Last Olympian and things change with time and with traumatic experiences.
You're right! He wouldn't let a DEMIGOD go into the world with all the monsters and whatnot, so why did he? **Spoiler alert** Maybe she's not a demi-god like she thought! 0.0
I don't mean to also be a smarty pants but it does say "(in editing)" meaning it's in the process of being editing and I will be fixing all the kinks with time thank you! :)
YOUR WORK IS AWESOME
I LOVE PARAMORE, THREE DAYS GRACE AND SKILLET! I also like BVB and ONE Falling In Reverse song: The Drug In Me Is You