About

Hulloooooo! Nice to see you. I'm finally updating my about me section! Or I would be if I knew what to write here...
      
      I love reading and writing! I also really like talking to all my fellow writers. If you'd like me to look over your story, go ahead and let me know and I'll give you a critique. NOT a mean one. I always try to be positive and kind, but also honest.
      
      Thank you to everyone who reads my stories, it seriously means a lot to me. Please leave me comments and let me know what you think of them!
      
       : )
  • Joined:
    4 years ago

Reading Lists


2 Published Works

Featured work.

Imalroc

Social data: 1.1K reads. 78 votes. 14 comments.

Description: In the brutal world of battleboxing, Imalroc sacrificed years to become an unbeatable champion. But his will to fight vanishes when he learns that he will never earn his freedom from the deadly sport, and he begins his own private rebellion against...


Other Works by smaoineamh.
Beginnings

Beginnings

175K 5.4K 692

Brendan Connolly seems to have a great life...except he's lost interest in it completely. Bored and lone...

Completed
smaoineamh commented on Imalroc - Chapter One: Sold


smaoineamh
Hellooooo again! I'm so glad you're reading this one...I'm excited about its potential! I have A TON of fantasy stories kicking around my brain, just waiting for me to fill in enough of the plot holes. I love Tenebria way too much, but I feel like I'm not skilled enough to write it the way I want to yet. But I will get to it! Hopefully!!


smaoineamh
Good continuation of the story! I think you did a really, really great job of making Kaya seem more grown up and sounding just a little bit different from when we were first introduced to her. She has a strong voice, but I think you have to pay closer attention to staying with it. Sometimes the phrasing doesn't sound like something a sixteen year old would say. For example, when she's says "No one knew him, but I"...I found it jarring. It doesn't sound like its coming out of the mouth of a teenage girl. 
      
      There were a few instances in this chapter that distracted me from being fully absorbed in the story. To me, the cousins sending her coal for Christmas just makes them come across as too evil to be real people. I also was confused by the line "Luke wasn't depressed, he was lonely and suicidal." Lonely and suicidal sounds like offshoots of depression to me, and I didn't understand Kaya's need to make a distinction. I was also thrown off by her explanation for not owning a car. Isn't it just as easy for her to run off in a borrowed car as it is for her to run off in a car she owns? And if her parents are so deeply worried about her running off, it seems unlikely that'd they would send her to live somewhere else with relatives she hardly knows.