TeresaMoses
4 weeks ago

:( I'm always here for you Rena, no matter what. Just wanted you to know and that no matter what happens to you, you will always be my best friend and sister and the one person I could always turn to when I need something and know that you can do the same with me. OK?

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rubyredbloodsta...
4 weeks ago

wanna know how i feel then look at my tumblr: http://just-another-emo-girl.tumblr.com/

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rubyredbloodsta...
2 months ago

I'm so done with people. I hate how there's people who are more than capable of contacting me outside of school and yet they don't. I feel like if I stopped talking to them all together, they'd try to get me to say what's wrong. If you couldn't tell something's been wrong for a very long time. If I started ignoring you and made you feel the way I do, maybe you'd catch on. I feel like you've completely abandoned me. Like you wouldn't even notice if I wasn't around. I know if you tried to talk to me I'd just get more pissed off about it, too. Every time I'm around you, you're talking about a conversation you had last night that I wasn't apart of. Now that you're talking with them again, you've stopped talking to me all together. Well, guess what? I'm done caring. I'm giving up on you just like you gave up on me. At least now I have my boyfriend to help me when I need it. I don't need you as much as I thought I did.

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rubyredbloodsta...
3 months ago

You expect me to talk to you in school when you don't make an effort to talk to me outside of it? why would I want to talk to you when obviously you don't want to talk to me?

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rubyredbloodsta...
3 months ago

I am done... I'm done trying to get better while everyone else tries to tear me back down... If people want to talk to me then they can talk to me first... I'm done being used

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rubyredbloodsta...
4 months ago

Had my wisdom teeth removed. I was hoping to update, but I've been sleeping all the time because of the pain meds. I'll hopefully update by the end of the week

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rubyredbloodsta...
5 months ago

I never realized how alone I really am. My friend mentioned an inside joke with his friend. I wish I had people that close to me that hear a certain phrase and immediately think of me. I wish I had someone who got me Christmas gifts to open at lunch and show off that nobody else would get. I wish I had someone to go to the mall with me, try on dresses, take pictures and put them on facebook. I wish I was the kind of girl who got invited to parties and to go out with guys on the weekends or who at least had someone to hang out with on Saturday nights. But instead I sit here and feel like nobody wants me around and that I'm too worthless for anyone to want or love. I'm sick of everything that has anything to do with my life. I want to move far away and start over. To reinvent myself in a place where nobody knows what I was like the year before. For once I want to feel like I belong and like people want me around. I'm sick of people saying they understand and then never doing anything to make a difference. I'm sick of going to the guidance office to cry and talk to someone who cares. I'm sick of wanting it all to stop. I'm sick of myself. I'm sick of feeling like I'm not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not talented enough. Or even just not popular enough. I'm sick of walking down the hall and having nobody notice me. I'm sick of thinking of the one guy I want to be with more than anybody and having to remind myself that he doesn't feel the same. I'm sick of people leaving me or ignoring me. I hate that I feel like I can't talk to any of my friends about this. I'm sick of forcing myself to eat. Forcing myself to look at myself in the mirror every morning. Forcing myself to get up in the morning. I'm sick of forcing myself on to the bus and into the school just to sit around and be ignored. I'm sick of wishing it was tenth period so i can just go home and not face anyone. I want things to change, but I don't know how to make it happen. I'm sick of life.

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rubyredbloodsta...
5 months ago

I still feel like nobody wants me around...Nobody does because who wants the girl who thinks she's ugly? I feel like no matter what, nobody notices that I'm still hurt. Either that or nobody cares. I just don't understand what the point is to being around me when you aren't going to say a thing to me? If you don't want to talk to me then don't stay near me. Why tease me like that? I can't stand people who sit there and call themselves my friends but ignore me when they're with me. I can't say anything though because I'm too much of a coward. Because how can I expect people to like me when even I hate myself? I really just want to hop in a car and drive far away from here...

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rubyredbloodsta...
5 months ago

I hate my life...I hate the way I am, the way I look, the way there is nothing I'm good at that nobody I know can do better... I hate how I can't be confindent to save my life. I hate that nobody even notices me enough to make me feel accepted by anyone that isn't my friend. I'm sick of feeling like people secretly hate me and like they really don't want me around. I'm sick of feeling like a third wheel all the time. I'm sick of feeling ugly. I'm sick of nobody noticing when I'm really upset and just faking being okay. I don't want to be someone who gets really sick and depressed. I don't want to be the one who doesn't get help in time. The bad part? Nobody thinks anything is wrong and nobody cares enough to do or say anything. Worse? There isn't even anything wrong with my life... So why do I feel like this? I just want to be happy again, but I don't want help...

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