AlexThomas
8 months ago

@mercbabe, oh, gosh, no! I loved the feedback. Thank you so much for specifying what it is you didn't like about it. I need to work on smoothing it a lot because it is a lot of different fragments stuck together into a book... And I really liked your suggestions for Dill. I'm going to work on incorporating them. :)

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mercbabe
8 months ago

@AlexThomas I'm sorry for not replying sooner, I'd been busy with work.  

First, I need you to know that I'm not exactly the world's most careful reader so there might be some stuffs that I missed while reading your story.   About your story, I find it confusing because at some places it seems choppy as you had put it in your author's note.  So the transition from one scene to the next isn't as smooth as I've expected, making the story a little hard to follow.  Next, I do think that you are trying to make Dill more different from other male characters that I've seen in other stories.  But, what bugs me the most is that he's really insulting during his numerous conversation with Jenny.  I do think you can fix this problem by describing what Dill is like while he's talking.  Such as, what's his body movement like?  Is he being sincere with his eyes?  Is he oblivious to the fact that he has hurt Jenny's feelings?  And since the story is in Jenny's POV, I think she can have more inputs on Dill's characters.  Why is she still travelling with Dill after being insulted?  What characteristics  Dill has that Jenny likes?  What Jenny feels after realizing Dill has been taking care of her?  You have to know that, you don't have to create a prince charming for people to like him, but you do have to come up with a reasonable answer to why is he likeable in the story.  
I do feel like you have put a lot of thoughts into your story.  It doesn't seems like you are adding random plotline as you go along with the story.  Instead, you puts a lots of different fragments together at the end of the story, which is what I've liked about it.  :)  
I'm looking forward to reading the second book but I might need to put it on hold right now.  Don't worry, I'll get to it eventually ^^  Keep writing and I apologize if I sound too blunt and too harsh on my comment.

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AlexThomas
8 months ago

Hello! Thank you so much for your comment. As of now, I only have the first draft posted on Wattpad. I assure you that I've been hard at work trying to smooth over my beginning. A question though, what about it did you find so confusing? 
And I've been trying my best to make Dill more likable earlier on without getting rid of what forms his character. 
Despite this, I'm so glad that you've decided to add Earthrumbler to your Reading List. Have a great week!

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AlexThomas
8 months ago

Hi, thanks for the vote on Sleepwalker! I hope you enjoyed it. :D

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AlysArden
10 months ago

Hi!  Thanks for adding The Casquette Girls to your reading list. Let me know what you think! ^-^

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caitlynduffy
1 year ago

Thanks for becoming my fan! :)

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