Thanks for voting for Mr Bitterman. I hope you enjoy the rest of it too. I read your short story while I was here. You have a unique voice. Your descriptions of external things - the tea, the doors opening - are rendered very clearly (the beauty of any story is in the details). The only slight niggle I might have is with the internal monologue. These monologues are the most fun part of any story to write, and it's easy to get carried away and leave the reader far behind. We must check ourselves from time to time and try to see it through a reader's eyes. Aim for clarity always. Or, to put it another way: we may know what we're on about but we shouldn't assume that the reader will. I hope this makes at least some sense. Keep up the good work, and let me know when your other story is finished. Thanks again.
Wattpad is putting a lot of my comments on review and it's confusing xD
@IsabelRed Wasn't trying to be unfriendly, sorry if you took it that way. I have been told I can be an arsehole (*is that better wattpad?...apparently I swore.) but I wasn't trying to be. Besides who knows the difference between auras and vibes, not as clear as waves and particles, hah. I read your first on 'The Drumming Song' while I was walking to work yesterday, I'll post a comment soon.
@IsabelRed I don't understand why clearly you don't but I can give your stories a read. I wonder how many other people you have sent that message to hah.
Tick tock, the sound when you walk, and you're just wasting time.