The story line is quite interesting, I think it's enough to pull in a reader interested in this genre. The grammar needs some work, but not too bad over all. The prologue as a whole was comprehendible and well thought out with a little more time spent on improving it and maybe rephrasing some things would make it more appealing. xD p.s. I don't know if this would be helpful but your prologue (and epilogue, if you choose to do one) can be in a different type of narrative perspective (i.e. first, second, third person etc.) to the rest of the novel. hope this helps!
Am a little book worm love to read !! Especially romance novels xD I don't write stories but maybe I could one day.... Lol hehe <3
Location:London, United Kingdom
Joined:2 years ago
My Little Brother Is No Angel!
Sixteen Year Old Vampire