About

'Sup.
      
      
      About me:
      I'm an nineteen-year-old who's currently studying at Waterloo and damn is this place cold (lived my whole life in a really hot place and only saw real snow here the first time in eighteen years). I'm the silent quiet type of girl who doesn't know how to approach people and suck at social interaction. But if I may say so, I do have a pretty wild side which I hardly/don't know how to show.
      
      My type of story? I love fantasy/sci fi, anything that surpasses reality--'cause reality sucks. Or at least, the world of fiction wins reality anytime. You're welcome to ask me to read your story, but I'm a picky, picky reader. I look for originality/good plot and good grammar. Don't ask me to check out your story if you're not prepared to take blunt words.
      
      
      
      
      *My older stories have tons of grammar mistakes, excuse them if you decide to check them out.
      I'm not going back to edit them because I'm constantly learning new things, and I don't want to fix up the mistake only to realize later on there were more I could've fixed.
      
      
      If you wanna talk to me, about anything really, inbox me. I'll respond as soon as I can ^_^
      
      
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  • Location:
    Canada
  • Joined:
    4 years ago

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5 Published Works

Featured work.

The Deal with the Demon Prince

Social data: 642K reads. 14.1K votes. 1.4K comments.

Description: A hundred and seventeen years ago, a demon offered a girl who was on the verge of death a deal. Having no other choices, she accepted and gained an almost immortal body. It was only when she got it that she discovered that immortality is nothing but...

Completed

Other Works by The_Black_Butterfly.
Blood Mercenary

Blood Mercenary

10K 689 57

Life is not worth living, but Vivien has a goal. In order to achieve that goal, she will do anything. An...

Completed
The Phoenix's Prophecy

The Phoenix's Prophecy

117K 3.3K 637

Amethyst Rosemera was one of the few survivors of a species called runar thanks to her mother sacrificin...

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The Hunter's Heritage

The Hunter's Heritage

90.1K 2.5K 424

Azura was offered a deal to discover her mysterious past. The deal was to help a pureblood vampire in su...

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Second Chance

Second Chance

21.2K 491 106

Meet Ciara Johnson, your average teenager who- *flips table* Let's start again, ever since high school...

Completed
The_Black_Butterfly commented on Shrieks of the Dead - Death Bed


The_Black_Butterfly
Alright, you have some punctuation mistakes in the first paragraph. Unnecessary comma and extra full stops.
      
      Second paragraphs, your sentence structure became monotonic and the entire accident was written in a way that sounded like a news reporter reporting events without a trace of compassion. The accident itself, not sure if intended, is brushed over.
      
      I guess your brushing over the accident was intended as a read on. The thing is she, probably not fully human with that name, is said to be the love of his life and he dragged himself over because of that. However, how did he know? For what reason is he not freaking out about his lack of legs and dragging himself over to a woman he's never seen?
      
      All in all, this sounds like an introduction and summary. It told me some information but there is nothing that really attracts me or makes me reeeeaally want to read on.
The_Black_Butterfly commented on The End - chapter 1~ The end


The_Black_Butterfly
Okay, grammar wise. I'll point out the first few I saw. First line, it's lying not laying. Alley not ally. There are a bunch more throughout the chapter. I strongly, strongly suggest you find someone to help you proofread
      
      Description wise, I can see you tried describing the details, but as a reader it's just so messy to read and hard to visualize the sentences.
      
      I understand the character is dying and a certain degree of confusion from the character's point of view is good but this is too much. If you notice toward the bottom of the giant paragraph (which I suggest breaking into smaller paragraphs, each clearly describing one thing of the guy or main character's thought) it says the character notices it's a man because of broad shoulders BUT earlier in the paragraph your character has mentioned HE is 6 foot.
      
      Reorder your sentences and improve the clarity. That's all I can say from what I've read