The future North America has a way of cleaning out its least successful plebeians--by taking their money, then their lives. A strange entrepreneur with an unearthly talent for marksmanship offers his clients a timelier means of escape.
hey :) i read your constructive advice in a book and i was wondering if it would be okay if you would give my story a shot? it's entitled My Universe. i really need constructive criticism to know what i should improve on. thank you so much.
I read the first chapter and i do have to say, I didn't catch any major mistakes but if there's something I missed, please do let me know!
Thanks for the criticism! Helped a lot! fanned! Thanks!
Part 3 - “This dog was extraordinary!” You may be overusing exclamation marks. I think something like 1 per every 100,000 words is recommended.... You Make Me Feel So Alive Part 2 - “he had to jump again and again to grab it.” Here, “he” refers back the guy, so it sounds like you're saying the guy is jumping, not the... You Make Me Feel So Alive Here is the critique for your story's beginning. You'll find some happy news at the end. -You don't need so many spaces between paragraphs. -... You Make Me Feel So Alive PART 3 -Find some other words for “means” instead of repeating yourself. -The above sentence is too long and complicated. It should be made into... The Smile: the eternal Suns... PART 2 -Some recommend avoiding passive voice. In any case, don't repeat “she had” twice in one sentence. “She” appears three times here... The Smile: the eternal Suns...