MyMessageinaBottle

I am a university student who will occasionally write some things in my spare time. I'm mostly here to read (and am more than happy to read a story and give feedback) but I am working on some projects that I'm hoping to get up here. 

Anywho, here are a random assortment of play on words that I find rather amusing and hopefully you do too:

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement.
He became a hardened criminal.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I’ll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

A calendar’s days are numbered.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

People who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.