MightyMeCreativ...
1 year ago

THanks for adding "His Possession" to your reading list! I hope you like it! let me know what ya think. ;)

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UnmissedTravell...
1 year ago

woah strong comment lol but thanks, i kinda have no time now but i will definitely edit chapter 19, and take in consideration everything u have said, seriously thank you for the reply oh and too late, i've already killed them off, its a one off chapter called Karma's a Bitch and if you could check it out it'd mean a lot
and the new story yeah i think i will make jake come back, thnx for that :)
oh and no problem about the fanning :)

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Metal_Manikin
1 year ago

@lirlmissunperfect I have one last suggestion for your new story. Maybe you can bring back Jake/the evil nephew of the Hunter as a bad guy for the new story. Just curious, what ever happened to him anyway? 

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Metal_Manikin
1 year ago

Hi. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I'll tell you what I thought and you can do as you wish with it. 
You can kill them if you want, but I don't know if that will solve anything. One reason I was disappointed was because you built up Noah and Char as these big antagonists, but did nothing with them. It was like reading the fourth book in the the twilight series were Stephie Myer built up that battle, but nothing happened. There wasn't even a battle and none died, so it useless, stupid, and disappointing. Why build something if your not going to use it? I felt as if you faded Char and Noah out of the story to fast. Maybe include more drama with them. Another thing is you didn't make me feel empathetic for them either. You basically told us that they changed and you didn't show us that they changed. Be descriptive and show us through their actions, point of view, others point of view, and stuff that happened to them. Noah and Char have awful attitudes, why would that suddenly change? What made them see the light in their evil ways? You didn't give us a reason for the sudden changed. Mating isn't a reason and them coming to a sudden realization with nothing happening to them isn't a reason either. A reason could be all the constant disgusted looks, cold treatment, and harsh insults/words the pack or family gives them because being isolated, hated and alone can cause some people to reflect on what they did. Since you didn't make us feel empathetic for them, we still have a strong sense of hate for them and want to see them suffer. Because of what you lacked to show us it makes it look like you let them off easy. So make us feel empathetic for them or make them suffer. Those are my comments on chapter 19. I wish you good luck and if you want more suggestions for other things or if you didn't understand something I commented on for this chapter just call me. Also thanks for becoming my fan.

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UnmissedTravell...
1 year ago

Hi so if u dont remember me i wrote Rejected, well im in the process of editing it and i was wondering if had any idea how i can improve chapter 19, i mean i was wondering whether i should kill them off or not
anyway all ideas are welcomed :)
thank you :)
*

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parishsp
1 year ago

Thanks for adding "A Little Bit of Fe" =) ...cant wait to hear what you think!!

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SleeplessInChic...
1 year ago

Thanks for adding my story.

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BornToWrite47
1 year ago

Thank you soooo much for adding my story to your library!! :D 
I hope that you are enjoying it so far! :) It means sooo much to me! :)

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SofaKingHaley
1 year ago

Thanks for the add!!! :3

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Ridelova101
1 year ago

Thank you for adding my story to your library! It means so much! I'm glad you are enjoying my story. =)

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