Status: I NEED TO WRITE SOMETHING GOOD. (1 year ago)

JragonJanet

Location	Mordor. Obviously.
Birthday	Feb 17
Member Since	Aug 07, 2010
Votes Received	68
Profile Page

Heyo =)

Fact File: 
Colour: Purple
Band: The Killers/The Police/Coldplay ;D
Singer: Michael Buble/Nathan Fillion. I'm better, better than Neil... (8)
Food: Bacon
Drink: Water, I'm so bland.
Film: Anything with superheroes, Nathan Fillion or Ryan Reynolds in it. Der. :P 
TV programmes: Castle, Heroes, Due South, Friends, Gilmore Girls, FIREFLY, Big Bang Theory :)

I got the name of one of my characters from the actor Milo Ventimiglia, let's hope he doesn't mind :P
Zachary Quinto (SYLAR)
As you can probably tell from above i LOVE HEROES! (:
I knew Milo Ventimiglia from Gilmore Girls before Heroes :O

Bucket list:

[X] Get 10 fans
[] Get 100 fans 
[] Get 1,000 fans
[X] Get 10 votes
[] Get 100 votes
[X] Be on the What's Hot list
[] Be at least 100 on the What's Hot list
[X] Have 10 comments
[] Have 100 comments
[X] Finish a book

I also get way too excited when i get a fan :D

If you want me to read your book just comment and i'll get round to it asap :)

Works

Living With Two Bodies

10 parts / 25 pages, updated Nov 07, 2011

Katrina is just the average teenager, going to a school in London, when an attack by two strangers cause a mysterious change in her, something that will change her li... read more

3,280 reads

My Poemss :D

4 parts / 1 page, updated Aug 07, 2011

Just a collection of poems i write when I'm sad/happy etc :)

199 reads

JragonJanet's Reading List

Jake The Stretcher, two

23 reads

~New Soul~

3,765 reads

Living With Two Bodies

3,280 reads

The Billion Dollar Girl

16,410,944 reads

Message Board

JragonJanet
1 year ago

@Livetodance15 ~Hey there :) and thanks, I sure will have a look at your poems :)

Livetodance15
1 year ago

Hey:) I love your poems! They're amazing! Could you maybe read some of mine? I'm just starting out and would love the help:) thanks!

JragonJanet
1 year ago

@hi-jinx  Nah i was kidding :) Editing is fine ;D

JragonJanet
1 year ago

@InLoveWithTheRadio-x  
~Hey there, don't worry bout it, I totally understand about the many reviews...been there :L Good luck to you too, I'm looking forward to what you think of my book :)

InLoveWithTheRa...
1 year ago

Heyyyy
I have added your story to my library as asked :)
It is going to take me a while until you get my opinion though because i have loads of other books to review -sigh-
Much luck to you
Beckie <3

JragonJanet
1 year ago

~Hey there y'all. Just wanted to say that I won't be posting any more of my book for a while because when/if I finish my book I'm hoping to self-publish or get it published :) Anyways, thats all for now :)

JragonJanet
2 years ago

@hi-jinx Wow thts really gd already :P uve had it up for like..an hour and u already got tht? thts gd :)

JragonJanet
2 years ago

@hi-jinx Haha it took a while believe me xD

WaywardDjinni
2 years ago

@JragonJanet
Heeeelllo there, my friend. :) You have kindly asked me to read your story, and I did. I promised to give my complete honest reply, and I will. Brace yourself!

I can't say I love it, but I do love your vocabulary. As my English teacher would say, "You deserve a cookie!" So, yeah.
When I first started reading, I found the first chapter pretty dull and flat. I don't want to say boring, because the idea of living in two bodies is interesting. How do I find it flat and boring? Well, you're not really describing what Katrina is thinking or feeling, how she looks like, what does she like, hate, etc. When you wrote about her school day, you mentioned her teacher. And that's it. Nothing else. It's kinda like saying "Oh look, there's cereal in the cereal aisle"
What KIND of cereal? Coco Puffs? Pops? Lucky Charms?
The story could be improved if you could gave personalities to the characters in the story.
It's also pretty fast-paced. Jumping from one thing to another. If you ask 'why' since you write a lot of words, the answer is simple.
Too much!
You have good words and sentences, but there is no topic to grasp. Therefore, it is dull. It's like reading out of a history textbook. No offense. :S
The way the story is written, it seems like you're TELLING us what's going on, not showing. If it's in Katrina's P.O.V, elaborate on what she's thinking. Imagine as if you were there and it is happening right in front of you.
I noticed that you overuse some words. Some words like "was" "has" "is" "were" etc.
Instead of using those, replace it with verbs.

EXAMPLE: I was frustrated and grit my teeth.
IMPROVED: Frustrated, I grit my teeth.

'Was' makes it seem past tense. However, it is used for that purpose.

__
Weeeell, that was a lot. I'm sorry if I sound too harsh, but hey! It'll help. :)
Now some good things! I really like the concept of having two sides of yourself. This story has potential. AND I LOVE YOUR VOCAB. <3 *SQUEAL*

Happy writing!

-SC-