About

Call me Nhovee, Ember, or November. It's all up to you.

I'm a struggling, ambitious, amateur writer.

I'm such a lazy person.
I'm a reader, a critic and a friend... well, that is, to those who can handle my tantrums (lol)
  • Location:
    under the same sky
  • Joined:
    3 years ago

Reading Lists


10 Published Works

Featured work.

The Wicked Cinderella

Social data: 6.9K reads. 233 votes. 99 comments.

Description: Wala raw permanente sa mundo kundi pagbabago. Siya na ngayon ang malupit na kontrabida habang ang dapat sana'y magiting na prinsipe niya ay parang aso na lamang na sunod nang sunod sa lahat ng gusto niya. Sounds weird, but it's their 21st century ta...


Other Works by HotNovember23.
Maling Gayuma

Maling Gayuma

179 7 2

Sugar, spice and everything nice… haluan mo pa ng pangil ng birheng paniki, kuko ng bagong-silang na b...

My Guardian Alien

My Guardian Alien

277 6 11

Aliens, 42nd century servants to the most powerful being in the universe—humans, are cancerous to touc...

#696 in Science Fiction
The Waltz Academy Files

The Waltz Academy Files

50 6 0

[The Wicked Cinderella Side Story] Welcome to Waltz Academy—a prestigious private school that offers e...

MY WORKS

MY WORKS

112 3 0

THIS IS NOT A STORY. Compilation of descriptions of HotNovember23's stories—completed, on going and...



HotNovember23
hmm.... di ko pa tapos basahin yung chapter. 

no offense, tanong lang. tina-try mo bang basahin yung chapter bago mo ipost? sana oo. nakakatulong kasi yun. if not sa tamang spelling ng mga salita, then sa construction ng sentences. ok, as i've said, hindi ko pa tapos basahin yung chapter. pero may nakita kasi akong isang sentence na kind of confusing. parang may mali sa arrangements ng words. 

naka first person POV ka naman so okay lang kung gamitin mo yung normal mong pagsasalita sa character mo. wag mong pwersahin yung sarili mo na laliman yung sentences. bagay lang yon pag heavy yung ambience ng eksena.. or pag mystery ang genre since nakaka dagdag sya sa feels. 

if you are not very sure of your sentences, try mong basahin yung sinulat mo. much better, basahin mo with a loud voice. di naman kailangang iparinig sa kapitbahay. yun lang tipong marinig mo yung sarili mo para mapansin mo kung awkward ang dating ng sentence. hope this helps :)


HotNovember23
yes yes! yung sinabi ni @Kaito_Kid08 na technicalities! yun din actually yung napansin ko. actually yung words na "nalang," "parin," at "palang" ay hindi ko na masyado pinapansin kasi sobrang daming tao na ang nagkakamali don... pero yung ibang words kasi masyado nang magkakadikit. at first akala ko typo sya yun pala hindi ka sure sa spelling. try to expose yourself with other tagalog books... kung pwede yung hindi wattpad. kung meron kang noli, el fili... yung mga ganun... makakatulong yun sa pag enhance ng vocabulary mo sa filipino :)


HotNovember23
ok, sorry if this is kinda late...medyo ngayon lang ako nagka time. i'd be honest so take a deep breath.... but i'll try not to be damn harsh.... pag feeling mo below the belt na ko, wag mo na lang basahin ng buo yung comment lol

first stop: title. cliche ang dating niya. cover. hindi ganun ka agaw-pansin. description. yon. yon ang nakaw-pansin! so sana ma develop mo yung cover mo para i check ng tao yung story. in fairness maganda yung description niya. maganda yung concept. it actually reminds me of something I wrote long ago. may lalaki ding biglang nawala sa buhay nung bida then after some time may nakilala siyang lalaki na kamukhang-kamukha nung guy... well, GMTA!!

second. the chapter itself. medyo disappointed ako. the story is about andy pero puro si katherine ang laman. parang kwento niya yung inikutan ng chapter until umalis si andy sa party. nagkaron ng thrill nung nakita niya si riley este kenneth. sa part na yun, malamang mapapaisip ang mga readers mo... bakit magkamukha si riley at kenneth?

third. technicalities. isa pa to sa nagpa disappoint sa kin. though i'm happy that you've been honest with your readers. marami akong nakitang mali sa spelling. idk about others pero big deal sakin yun. turn off sakin yun so sana you take some time to review this chapter. one more thing, yung line ni toffy na naka-bold. i dont see why you have to give the line such emphasis. naiintindihan ko yung mga naka-italics, which are done rather correctly, pero yung naka bold, parang hindi naman kailangan.

and lastly.... are you writing english stories as well? if you'd ask my opinion, kung mas kaya mo yung english, why not? sayang eh. sa totoo lang may talent ka sa pagsusulat. gusto ko yung way mo ng pagna-narrate. gusto ko yung mga pictures na pinapakita mo through those narrations. kaso, para sakin lang, nao-over power sya nung mga spelling errors so sayang. kung mas kaya mo magsulat sa english, do it. choose the language you can express yourself better. :)


uhuhu.
HotNovember23
uhhh... parang medyo panira sa "mood" yung line... sana pwedeng i-close quote after ng "Kuya." then saka mo imention yung pag iyak. Or mention it before his sister's line.

something like

"Kuya." Umiiyak siya nang mag umpisa siyang magsalita. (then go on with the dialogue)

OR

"Kuya." Bigla na lang umiyak ang kapatid ko. continue with the dialogue"

OR 
Bigla siyang umiyak habang takot na takot na nagkukwento. 
"Kuya, mama said that (continue the line)

oops. opinion ko lang. medyo awkward sakin yung "huhuhu" eh. feeling ko nawala yung "someone's scared" atmosphere.

and medyo parang nag jump yung opening mo from previous chapter. so siguro you can start narrating what happened earlier. natapos kasi yung previous chapter na tulog pa si little sis (na di ko matandaan kung napangalanan na) then biglang sa chapter na to gising na siya at takut na takot. siguro pwede syang umpisahan sa paano nagising. binangungot ba (more likely)? ginising? normal na nagising lang? kasi kung binangungot sya mas reasonable na takot siya. i mean, tipong medyo na trauma siya sa panaginip.