The weekend has been, all in all, dull and rather depressing. It started out as... a small family issue >.< I saw this beautiful person whilst volunteering and couldn't even get a word in. I am so fckin' confused. SO CONFUSED!! I don't know what to do with my life. I'm having second thoughts. I don't want to grow any older. I don't want to fcking face reality. I don't want to. I have some sort of public phobia and I can't do anything about it. But that was overcome with distraught thoughts of wanting to go fck everything and everyone. This then led to thinking about someone. Someone who left. Someone with whom I stupidly enough didn't talk to near their end. Someone who meant the world to me and then left. I always hope that they would be saved in some internet hard-drive and would come and talk to me again. I just wish... Everyone else who left, well f you too. I'm saying that because I'm livid and I don't really mean it. You know once in a while, you need to dislodge that lump in your throat and let free your tears. So many expectations by people whom I love but I am fulfilling only because I am indebted with my life to them. I don't know what to do. I am burdened with everything. I have friends. But everything is overwhelming and depressing. I just want to cry and hug someone really tightly. I don't want to sin. I am trying my hardest to protect myself. I need time alone, me and my thoughts. No jealousy from others or letting the people closest to me down. I just want to be alone. God save me now
~Procrastinator ~Always here to talk to ~Entertaining... Amusing ~Action / Comedy ~Not judgemental at all ~Traveller, soul and body alike ~Critic ~Rollercoasters ~Dreamer ~Bitch ~Sensitive ~Evasive ~Frightfully fantastical imagination ~Naughty ~Horrible at giving advice ~Posessive ~Trouble ~Curious... Inquisitive ~Vertically challenged but mentally stable ~An addict, new addiction every so often ~Short attention span ~Please keep the conversation going ~British ~Caring - She'll let you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain. ~RM
Location:In Cognito -_-
Joined:3 years ago
Description: Two souls will be entwined by fate when their worlds collide. They were made for a purpose. What will happen when playboy prince Alexander and fiery fighter Katarina meet? Will his pride break her? Will her craziness scare him? Everything chang...
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Well... It has been a while my dear ones. I have finally got time to type. I just STUFFED me face with chocolates and sweets. I mean really! I got it deep in there! I just ruined my healthy sports for the day because of this. Like always. I'm going to become unhealthy :c Bahahah like I care. Despite this I have had an eventful few days. I made a new friend who just connects with me. But it reminds me of the good ol' days of Wattpad. I miss everyone. So if you're out there, hit me up! I embarrassed myself completely aswell, my English us disintegrating (I think that's the right word) and forgive the typos. I just need a holiday to relax. I also need to stay away from someone VERY close to me, but I just can't. What else.... I have SO many things to watch. I need to start drinking water and writing my story (always procrastinate this). I also realised how geographically impaired I am. Like... I don't know anything. Economical wisdom is also lacking. I spent so much money on food D: I think I want to change my wp name but I'm worried if my old friends come back they wouldn't know where to find me. Plus I think I have chlorine in my nose... I need good books/poems. Gimme recommendations plz I have mire to write but I have brain blockage
I really understand now how it is to hide behind a smile when you're feeling down. Even after so much practise, at home I just cannot keep my anger with myself at bay. It's so frustrating. I thought I was having an amazing day until I embarrassed myself in the evening. I hate presenting to little kids. Plus the tutor is a labour inducing pain in the a$$. It's effort okay, I do not have the time nor the effort to speak. No matter how old you get. Believe me. You will get judged/ bullied in the most intellectually non threatening way that will just lower your self esteem. Anyway, this huge debate just deflated my happiness. God help us all. It was awful. I just became disheartened to do anything now. Huge mood swing. I wish it wasn't like that. Woah. This makes it sound like I'm in a relationship. I had beautiful fish and chips though. Mmmmmmmm Anyway, my internet decides to royally fck up when I want to watch something at home. I am mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Only one thing makes my day, everyday. I wish I could stay there all day. You know? Like that one spark that illuminates.,. I was going to write something meaningful but I lost my teain of thought. I REALLY want sweets right now and a good show to watch. Well... I actually want food and these horrid two day exams to go away. I know it's bad but I kinda liked it when I was ill and had nothing to do... How... Psychopathic -.- Give me some cheerful advice?
Guys I'm still lamenting over it!!!! I should've asked for the number ):
Today's an emotional one guys. Basically, I saw someone I haven't seen in about a decade. A beautiful person. I had the courage to say 'Hi' but the cowardice to not take it any further. I literally ran from there. I regret it so much!! I miss them like crazy! But... Now that I ponder, I used to be bullied. Forget that, there were 4 of them. 2 were horrid, now they saw me as a 'beautiful surprise'. I'm bad though, I still love them all. I forget their discrepancies so quick. I don't know... I miss them >.<. I had an amazing time though. Utterly tired. Btw!!! I found an AMAZING!!! Beyond amazing!! Show. It is brilliant. I'm watching it now >:) I have to do something... But I'm too tired!! Knackered!
Well... Another day gone by. I have regained my apetite. The usual carbohydrate cravings! I just want pizza. Or I want to dig my teeth into a burger. Just... Junk >.> As in... Junk food <.<. Annnd, I want to watch movies, shows and browse Ifunny all day. Well I suppose I have been doing that. Except the junk food part. Apparently I need to have a healthier intake of vitamins and minerals -_-. No one has still recommended good movies, the suggestions I get are that.. That movie... Oh yes! The fault in our stars. I'm afraid it's too sappy for my emotionally deprived/ Deranged... I had a good word but I forgot it. Anyway, I'm going to start watching a good show today. I actually played a bit of football, I assure you this was in no way electronic, but actually physical unlike your sex life! HA Ha ha ha... *Awkward Silence* Now I'm CRAVING food. Beautifully delicious food. I've made plans for tomorrow but I don't have it in me to move from my bed. You know you should take 10,000 steps a day, I even have a pedometer, but lets not ehh check that any day soon. I think I shall watch lè show and sleep early. Pshhhhfffffttt. Yeah, 'course.
Uhh Wednesday? The eh 12th? Been in bed for a few days, since I've succumb to illness. I think this could be my blog diary? That makes no sense. Shite, I'm going crazy. I need good movies to watch. I think I can taste food again since I stole some homemade scones with jam, but uh, da fauq is this? I have no apetite. WHAT IS THIS? Like... What is this? Food... I cannot taste thee, my precious. I thinketh that I shouldeth writeth a blog. What website do I use? Enlighten me. See! See! When I want to write for my story jack all comes to mind, but when I'm randomly ill, spontaneously beautiful words leave my horrid brain. It's rather disturbing. I'll leave for now, watch some movies or wait for food.
Da faaaaaaaauuuuq is this? Where's my beautiful status bar where I could post random insensitive personal things to intrigue others... Da fuq man This was... This was our special bar, where I could lament. Fakh you. This is depressing. I dislike change
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Ta for the follow, muffin