You know what? I figured that it was about time I altered this a tad. I mean, I've been here four years. That makes me pensionable age by Wattpad standards. With that in mind, don't you think it's time the silliness stopped?

Like fuck...

If you want to read sensible, well-crafted stories that don't get your cognitive juices flowing then you've come to the wrong place. If, on the other hand, you want to have your testicles – or ovaries, I'll have no gender discrimination here, thank you very much – force fed through a tube of literary randomness and plot holes so gaping there's no way they can be accidental then take a seat, help yourself to a lager and spark a tab.

I should probably point out that not everything I write is as random as the day is long. Some of my shit actually makes sense... What? It fucking does, you cheeky bastards!

I don't do follow for follow because I'm not a twat. I don't take reading requests because I genuinely don't have the time. Requests for either of these things will result in me putting a round of fucks into you.

A little about me? Wife. Puppy. Job. Rock 'n' Fuckin' Roll.

Et quis est, sunt canes?
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37 Published Works

Featured work.

Ecrivain's Liquorice Allshorts...

Social data: 434 reads. 70 votes. 28 comments.

Description: Rather than having countless short stories littered about my profile in various collections and anthologies, I've decided to lump them all together in one so regardless of the genre, you'll find my short (mostly) standalone works right here.


Other Works by AngusEcrivain.
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ZEDS (Season Two) #ZEDS

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Getting Stephen Laid... Again!

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When Stephen Indiana Jones Bash wakes up in the recycling bin behind the road side café on the eastbound...

AngusEcrivain commented on Orangutangents - Disappointment

haha, well this definitely put a smile on my face, Gav! :P I've often thought - as most of us blokes have, I suspect - how awesome it would be to present Top Gear or to simply do what they do and act like prats with your mates whilst getting paid for it!