You know what? I figured that it was about time I altered this a tad. I mean, I've been here four years. That makes me pensionable age by Wattpad standards. With that in mind, don't you think it's time the silliness stopped?

Like fuck...

If you want to read sensible, well-crafted stories that don't get your cognitive juices flowing then you've come to the wrong place. If, on the other hand, you want to have your testicles – or ovaries, I'll have no gender discrimination here, thank you very much – force fed through a tube of literary randomness and plot holes so gaping there's no way they can be accidental then take a seat, help yourself to a lager and spark a tab.

I should probably point out that not everything I write is as random as the day is long. Some of my shit actually makes sense... What? It fucking does, you cheeky bastards!

I don't do follow for follow because I'm not a twat. I don't take reading requests because I genuinely don't have the time. Requests for either of these things will result in me putting a round of fucks into you.

A little about me? Wife. Puppy. Job. Rock 'n' Fuckin' Roll.

Et quis est, sunt canes?
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45 Published Works

Featured work.

Hints, Pointers, and Other (Possibly) Useful Things...

Social data: 5.3K reads. 152 votes. 88 comments.

Description: Now before I get started with this I should probably get a few things straight. I'm not the best writer in the world – far from it, in fact. I'm well aware that there are several aspects of the craft I'm yet to master. That said, I've been writing...

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