pretty good so far. you have my attention. chevk your grammar and choice of words .
wow!!!!very powerful,gripping start!!it had me imagining the scene vividly!!!!One word with 9 characters for you: B E A U T I F U L
Love the opening -> good to bring the reader in later in the action. It's definitely more of a hook that way. Voting commence!
Quite interesting, the first sentence was intriguing.. this is unique and something i wouldnt usuallly read 4 pages deserves my vote and worth the read!!
Really good start! thankxz for sharing with me i'll continue to read it and vote :3
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