It is awesome I love it next time I'm on my laptop I will fan it because I can't figure out how to fan on my Android tablet.
Really great first chapter, you have lovely amounts of detail, I could actually imagine everything you wrote about!
This is very good!! nicely written, alot of good description (I'm so bad at that!) I really hope you continue this story, I think it's got alot of potential!
I hate summer time It's always so hot. D; lol anyway this was really interesting, nicely written, and saw no errors.
love your writing and i paid attention to your descriptions which flows really well an d your story is very interesting!! Keep writing:)
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