When I was 5 years old I was raped by a man.
I was alone playing at our backyard when my addict neighbor drag me somewhere I dont remember . He raped me countless times and sliced my small tummy with a scissor. I was left to die, but miracle happened and I survived.
I became gay because of that experience. Maybe, just maybe, because of the traumatic incident that happened to me I never let myself trust anyone, not my teachers, classmates, friends, but except for one person who I treasure the most, Nathaniel Gregory my best friend .
I don't want to lose my best friend. I like him but I don't want to let him know because he is straight as an arrow. I'm afraid he might get mad at me and leave me alone. His the only one I have, I can't afford to lose this special person. That's why I hook every guy that interest me, or it would be proper to say that reminds me of him. Even if it's just his replacement I want to convince myself that it's better than losing him forever. I don't have permanent partners, even a single night with someone like Nate is enough. Pathetic right? I always run to him when I have problems and he would always listen to me, it's his fault why sometimes I'm hard headed, he spoils me a lot. But I know, that no matter how special I am to him, he would never love me the way I love him.
The question is:
If he finds out, will he love me back?