not bad for a first chapter. I'm in publishing so I am tuned into writing errors and picking them up. There are a couple of things but all in all a good start.
Yay I love this story!! I'm so glad you updated it! Everthing makes a lot more sense now! :)
This is really good so far!! :) but I am kind of confused as to who the two people in the room are?
Keep writing!! :)
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