It was suppose to be something like boy meets girl but then it became girl gets chased by the devil child. SAVE ME!
oooooo. Loving the story!!! I like that you decided to go into third person.
I think that the beginning paragraph seems to grab your attention.
I think that if you're going to introduce the characters I guess this is okay too. But I think that the best way to introduce them is to let the readers get to know them throughout the story. Like introducing it at the main character's friend or something.
This is amazing. Third person right? Or is it called something else? Ah I don't. Ima continue though. This is REALLY good!!! ~~~~ :D
I LOVE IT!! I DON'T GET, BUT STILL LOOVE IT!!!
i just wish it was longer.