Silent Screaming

7 Part Story 2.7K Reads 69 Votes
sasukechar2 By sasukechar2 Updated 3 years ago
Mobs. Riots. FIres. Death. 
    Natalie Maverick has experienced all of these things in the eight years of her life. They were a regular thing in Blackwell Virginia, her hometown. They riots have always been bad, even before Natalie was born. However, they were never this bad. In a riot gone bad, Natalie and her closest friend Dominic are forced to leave town, fearing that they would be in even more danger than ever. That's when disaster strikes. While resting in a house, a lightening storm started, and the house was struck by a bolt of lightening, setting it on fire. Trying to get out safe and sound, Natalie and Dominic get badly injured. That's when Natalie loses everything important to her; her precious memory and her beloved speech.
Aside from a certain clunkiness (too many extraneous details, awkward grammar), your characters are interesting and I like the way that they get along. It's also an exciting story.
Awesome a lot of action, you do need to however pay attention to your grammar that's all:)
aside from the grammar, that I'm sure others have told you about, I think this story seriously has some potential. A lot of the stories I read in R4R I get bored fast. But this one, it was actually interesting to me! 
                                    It's nice and original, and overall a great story(:
Confusing start, but I slowly understood what was going on.
                                    Besides that though, your description were perfect, your characters were believeable and not some stereotypical characters like in other stories.
                                    The plot is refreshing and new, keep up the great work!
You have some grammatical errors, such as 
                                    Me and Dominic made our way out of Virginia, sneaking past the little borders, and into Maryland.
                                    It should be 
                                    Dominic and I made our way out of Virginia, sneaking past the little borders, and into Maryland.
Wow! Confusing to start out, but after reading the summary makes more sense. :) Soinds really interesting. Oh, and I really love your cover! Who made it?