This is very descriptive and shows how talented a writer you are;)
the only problem is the writing seems a little bit rushed. Other than that it is fine :)
I will try to read more but I cant get into books like this. I'm against it so, I shall try to read but sorry if I can't..
I'm not into this genre, but It was good. The only thing I'd change is all of the parenthesis. They make the story kind of confusing.
you are a good writer but you use parenthesis ( ) a lot, which makes it seem immature
This is extremely well written...everything action and movement is detailed with descriptions that allow the reader to imagine the events of the story. Voted.
this is really good they were you write keep me intersted but the paragraphs just need breaking up if that makes sense but you are very good :D voted
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