@retawolf I'll point them out after I'm done with the other two reads I have to do xD.... Oh and btw, I love your witty humor!
this is so well written. The paragraphs are very long but not pointlessly so, you have awesome discriptions!
The paragraphs were quite long and 6 pages is quite a lot for just a first chapter. I lost my interest very quickly and got bored, but it was a nice start!
my vote is not working :( *crys* :( descriptions are great btw really gives the effect of the story perfectly
whoahhh! the descriptions are amazing haha(: i feel like you set me right into the story, and I like it a lot! Great beginning!
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