Sentence structure needs work, but it's an interesting, relatable, though slightly angsty beginning.
I really like this! I think it's awesome how you put a deeper meaning into this without it being overhwhelming. Of course, I'm definitely continuing :D
I really like the beginning, your description was amazing and it really drew me into the story, along with your summary. Voted!
Wow, great beginning, really emjoyed reading it. On to next chap. ~voted. Don't forget to read both of mine. :P ^_^
I LOVE the beginning of this! Your details are amazing! Again, I'm not good at critiquin but I really enjoyed this so I'm reading on:)
I like this. It has such a different spin on most stories- written so beautifully. Love the first part :)
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