Nice start! The readers would definitely crave to read the next chapter. And also, you did a good job on leaving Evan's character as the mysterious one. ;)
I think this is a good start! I'm not a fan of vampires, but I'm interested in where this will be going >:)
I liked you prologue it was a nice intro to the story and some of the characters.
I liked this :) You need to try and run the first sentences a little more smoothly but overall good!
There are a few grammatical errors, but nothing to worry about really. I like it so far!
Hmm... I think I know what happened to Edward. Lol. But having him serve her is kind of cool.
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